"Oh, damn, people. A special counsel is going to be investigating Trump," he said on "The Daily Show" Thursday. "He’s going to serve two terms probably ... two terms in prison."
But that was just one of the many news stories that emerged about the Trump administration this week, and Noah is having trouble keeping up.
"It honestly feels like this guy stops all other news," Noah said. "There are probably asteroids headed to earth right now that are looking at each right now that are looking at each other like, 'Yo man, maybe we should come back later, no one's going to notice us.'"
After listing all of the debacles that happened this week between Russia, Donald Trump, James Comey, and Michael Flynn, Noah said there leaves us little to no time to talk about literally anything else.
Next on the very long Trump news agenda was discussing the meeting that POTUS had with President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey, which caused a little bit of tension outside the capitol.
"The president of Turkey was visiting America, and it turns out he brought his laws with him," Noah said.
Noah shared footage of protesters being physically attacked by the foreign leader's security detail in Washington, D.C., outside the Turkish ambassador’s residence on Embassy Row.
Even with the attacks on American protesters, Noah noted that President Trump has been silent in addressing the situation at all.
"Sweet Jesus. Do you understand how insane this is?” Noah said. "A foreign leader brought his goons into America to turn a peaceful protest into a surprise Black Friday—except it’s worse than that because you don’t get to leave with a TV. I mean, that is one of the scariest things I’ve seen."
To add to the disbelief, Noah noted that Erdogan was fully aware of the attack going out outside of his residence, because he was inside of his car watching the whole thing.
"In any other news cycle this would be the story we’d all be talking about: a foreign president’s security detail beating up American citizens exercising their First Amendment protest rights," Noah said. "This is like watching a stranger come into your house and just start beating up your kids."