Late-night hosts believe Donald Trump is the one who needs a merit-based policy, not immigrants.
“Somewhere right now Hillary Clinton is like, ‘Oh you think people should advance based on merit now? OK, interesting,” Trever Noah said in his response to the President's proposal to cut down on legal immigrationby admitting immigrants soley based on the merit of each applicant.
“The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”
Colbert used his monologue to carefully look over the proposal that the White House is calling the Reforming American Immigration for a Strong Economy Act, or as Trump likes to call it, RAISE.
The CBS star joked that he didn’t understand the acronym because Trump’s administration is almost tricking immigrants to believe they really have a shot at living comfortably in this country today.
So to avoid confusion, Colbert suggested a more fitting name: “Reforming American Citizenship Is Super Tough” act, or RACIST.
“I am really glad my family got here in 1828 because Donald Trump just pulled up the immigration ladder behind us,” he said.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
The ABC host, on the other hand, believed the proposal is Jeff Sessions' attempt to get back on Trump’s good side and white American’s shouldn’t be subjected to such actions.
“They’re taking action against affirmative action, and I say it’s about time we crack down on getting minorities into college,” he said. “I mean, this has been going on for too long. And I’m not alone.”
Cut to a hilarious message from actor and comedian David Alan Grier about the excessive prejudice white people face in America.
“Won’t you join me and Attorney General Jeff Sessions in helping to end years of unjust and immoral discrimination against white people," Grier said. “Let’s look at the facts: It all started back in the 1700s, when black people took all the seats in the slave ships for themselves.”
Grier continued to give Kimmel’s audience a white history lesson, before turning the conversation to the capital.
“It’s so bad that white people had no choice but to create their own all-white government, and they can’t get a damn thing done. It’s time for a change. It’s time to give white people a chance. Call Washington -- Denzel Washington -- tell him it’s time to end the discrimination that has kept our white brothers and sisters down for so long.”
“The Daily Show with Trevor Noah”
Noah was also sarcastically relieved American universities would go back to being majority white.
“Finally! You know how many times I go to colleges in America and say, ‘Hey, where’s all the white people?'" Noah said. "If American colleges were any whiter, Jon Snow would build a wall to protect us from them.”
But according to a poll that the late-night host found, 54 percent of Trump supporters actually believe white people face more racist judgement than black people.
“It’s almost like when rich people complain about their financial problems. ‘Do you know how high the taxes on my summer home are?’”
“The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon”
Fallon began his monologue with lines of jokes about Trump’s immigration plan.
“This morning President Trump announced a new immigration plan that will favor people who speak English, which is why tonight he had to deport himself.”
While the proposal is the most popular Trump news at the moment, the NBC late-night host also wanted to discuss how Trump already fired 12 officials and called the White House a dump.
“And then people staying at Trump Hotels were like, ‘Want to Trade?’”