Late-night hosts are actually excited at the prospect of jury duty now that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has impaneled a grand jury to consider potential criminal wrongdoing by Donald Trump and his cabinet.
“I’m going to say something right now nobody has ever said before: God, I wish I had jury duty,” Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
“The Daily Show with Trevor Noah”
Noah joked that if the possible jury does find Trump guilty of committing a crime, he's the one American who can' run south of the border.
"You now what I just realized? If they find out that Trump did commit a crime, he’s the one American who can’t escape to Mexico," Noah said.
Noah added that the grand jury news was just the tip of the iceberg of the President's "terrible day," then read quotes from the leaked transcript between Trump and the leaders of Mexico and Australia.
Who needs writers when Trump's mouth writes the funniest scripts?
“Late Night with Seth Meyers”
Meyers believes Trump may actually be excited about the possibility of getting a grand jury, because it’ll sound like he’s getting special treatment.
“Trump’s probably excited because he thinks a grand jury is just a fancier jury. ‘So beautiful, not like one of those dump juries,’” he said.
Meyers also brought up Trump’s leaked conversations with the Mexican and Australian leaders, because he wanted to clear up something about his home state that Trump mentioned.
“New Hampshire has been hit hard by the opioid crisis, but still, don’t call it a ‘drug-infested den!’ It’s New England, it’s a drug-infested inn.”
“Late Show with Stephen Colbert”
Colbert on the other hand wants in on this jury although he is confused because who in the world is unbiased towards the President of the United States.
“I’m going to say something right now nobody has ever said before: God, I wish I had jury duty,” he said. “But really, how are they going to find unbiased people to serve on this jury? ‘Ma'am have you ever heard of a man by the name of Donald Trump?’ ‘No, father never mentioned him in our cave-dwelling cult.”
Colbert then clarified that the news doesn’t necessarily mean there will be a trial, but “it is a strong indication that something is going to happen.”
“It’s like picking up a blind date, and the first thing they say is, ‘Hey, I need some condoms. Can we swing by the store?”