The comedian -- a graduate of the University of Virginia -- joked that she "graduated a virgin" and still liked it.
"That's how good the architecture is down there," she joked before turning her sights toward the protests and violence that took place there earlier this week. "It broke my heart to see these evil forces descend upon Charlottesville. And then our president, Donald John Trump, which -- I don't think people talk enough about what a stupid, jackass name that is -- it does not flow. Donald John? Whatever, he gets away with it 'cause he's gorgeous."
Fey said Trump putting the blame "on many sides" made her "sick" because "Nazis are always bad -- I don't care what you say."
The comedian went in on the nine more alt-right rallies planned nationwide for this upcoming Saturday, including one in New York City in Washington Square Park.
"Part of me hopes these neo-Nazis do try it in New York City," she said. "I hope they try it and get the ham salad kicked out of them by a bunch of drag queens 'cause you know what a drag queen still is? A 6-foot-4 black man."
"But at the same time, I don't want any more good people to get hurt," she continued. "I know a lot of us are anxious and we're asking ourselves like, 'What can I do? I'm just one person.'"
Fey urged people to combat the potential violence this Saturday by supporting a local business, "like a Jewish-run bakery or an African-American-run bakery," instead of "participating in the screaming matches" with Nazis.
"Order a cake with the American flag on it -- like this one -- and just eat it," she said as she shoveled forkfuls of a Patriotic sheet cake into her mouth.
"Love is love," she said with a mouthful of cake. "And the next time when you see [inaudible] white boys, boys in polo shirts screaming about taking our country back, and you wanna scream, 'It's not our country. We stole it from the Native Americans. We stole it from the Native Americans, and when they have a peaceful protest...we shoot at them with rubber bullets, but we let you chinless turds march through the streets with semiautomatic weapons.'"
"And when you wanna yell that," she said looking at "Weekend Update" anchor Colin Jost, "don't yell that at the Klan, Colin, yell it into the cake."
"Also, who drove the car into the crowd?! Hillary's emails?!" Fey yelled as she continued to tear into the cake. "Sheetcaking is a grassroots movement, Colin. Most of the women I know have been doing it once a week since the election!"