"You want to buff it, you want to clean it, you want to oil it," the actor says without realizing what he's pitching.
As part of the daytime talk show host's regular segment "Pitch Please," which raised $20,000 for charity this time, the "Suburbicon" star had to put his salesman skills to the test by pitching a product that only the audience and DeGeneres could see. Since Damon couldn't see the underwear-clad doll, complete with chest hair, he actually said something nice about Kimmel for once -- and sometimes the compliments sounded a little bit dirty, given the context.
Describing it as a "hell of a product," Damon said: "Some people use it more than once a day, some people use it once a week. That's what's great about it. It's versatile and it's very user-friendly."
Damon also noted the product often makes him feel very "relaxed," and he'd use it "both" alone and with other people, including his wife.
"That's who I heard about it from. She called me, I was at work, and she goes, 'This is a hell of a product,'" Damon said.
"How do you take care of it?" DeGeneres asked her guest, which prompted one of the funniest responses: "Look, you take care of your gear, your gear is going to take care of you. You want to buff it, you want to clean it, you want to oil it -- you just want to keep it ready to go."
DeGeneres started to clue Damon in on the gag toward the end by asking, "Does Jimmy Kimmel know you have this?"
"Well, Jimmy is not classy enough to have something like this," Damon answered. "This I can guarantee you is not something that Jimmy has or has ever had or used, because you need to be a certain type of person to use this."