"First off, Taylor can cook, OK? She can cook," the "Girls Trip" star tells Ellen DeGeneres.
Tiffany Haddish stopped by "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" Monday to fill in her "squeaky clean" comedic idol on what happened when she and Taylor Swift had dinner, what it was like meeting Barbra Streisand and everything in between.
Haddish first met DeGeneres at the 2017 MTV VMAs and told her she was dying to be a guest on her show. Ellen, who had not yet seen "Girls Trip," was polite about the encounter. Once she saw the movie, though, Ellen said it was a no-brainer.
"I spoke it into existence, yo!" Haddish told the audience of achieving her goal.
The hilarious six-and-a-half-minute video below is worth every second of your time, but if you're on a crunch, we've compiled a list of the funniest, must-see moments.
On Having a Potluck Dinner at Taylor Swift's House
"OK, so this what happened," Haddish began. "I did 'SNL,' right? So let me tell you what happened. Taylor was like, 'Tiffany! Oh, my God, I like you. We gotta hang out.' I was like, 'Yes, we gotta hang out, girl. Let's hang out!'"
Haddish said she told Swift she had been gardening and told her, "If I come over, you gotta make me some barbecue chicken, some potato salad and a brisket. And she was like, 'OK.' And I said, 'I'm gonna bring some collard greens 'cause I got my own garden and I got greens.'"
"When I pick my greens, right, I smile," Haddish continued. "I smile when I pick the greens, and when I wash the greens I smile. Then when I cut them up, I smile. And then when I cook them, I smile. They call it joyful greens."
"So when I get over there, she got all this food," she said. "It was so good. First off, Taylor can cook, OK? She can cook. Like the chicken was BOMB, alright? And she made cornbread -- BOMB. So good. And then she ate my greens. She was like, 'Oh, my God, Tiffany, I have been wanting greens for so long. I go to all these different places and get greens and they're never good. These greens are so delicious.' And was like, 'Girl, 'cause them is joyful greens.'"
On Hanging Out With Barbra Streisand
Haddish recently met Barbra Streisand at the house of Vice Chairman of NBCUniversal Ron Meyer.
"She my sister. We're related!" Haddish said of Babs. "[Ron] invited me over for dinner and a movie, and then there she was -- Barbra Streisand. And she's like, 'Tiffany!' And I'm like, 'What up, girl?!'
Haddish said she "informed" Streisand about Cardi B and "how she transformed her whole life" to become "a role model to children."
"I sang the song for her and everything, and she's like, 'Sounds catchy,'" Haddish said of singing "Bodak Yellow" to Barbra Streisand.
"Then I told her I was from South Central Los Angeles, and she told me she was from Brooklyn," she continued. "And then we found out we both from the hood, you know? We both ghetto chicks. It's just different times. Different ghetto, different times, different demographics, yet so similar. She lived in a Jewish hood, I lived in a black neighborhood, but I was Jewish, too. I'm still Jewish! I'm a black Jew."
On Her Budding Garden
"I do have a garden," Haddish explained. "I have kale, I got strawberries right now. I got eggplants -- you know why."
"I don't know why," Ellen said.
"We'll talk later," Haddish replied. "I got cucumbers, an avocado tree, I got beets, I got greens, potatoes, you name it!"
Ellen then asked where Haddish lived, and she said South Central L.A.
"You wanna come over?" Haddish said. "I got two dogs and a cat, too. And you know where the cat's from? She's from the movie I did called 'Keanu,' so we got two famous in the house."
Haddish explained she got her South Central house before she started making the big bucks and that she's "able to make the payments on time now."
On Her Dancing Background
Haddish danced her way onto the set of "Ellen," which she credited to her years of experience.
"I danced for like 11 years at Bar Mitzvahs and executive parties," she said. "I'm a professional energy producer. I produce energy, baby."
On Idolizing Ellen
"I've been watching you for years," Haddish told DeGeneres. "I remember being a young lady watching your show, your sitcom, and I used to be like, 'I wanna be on her show.' Then I was like, 'I wanna just work with her. She's a comic. I'm a comic now. I could open up for her.' And then I started telling my friends, and they were like, 'You know she's like a squeaky clean comedian, right?' Then I was like, 'I'll just be watching her.'"