Emotions run high when singer shares video of pastor saying, "You’re not a wife when I marry you, you’re a wife when I find you."
Ciara got Twitter all fired up Sunday with four little words and a video she shared on Instagram.
"#LevelUp. Don't Settle," the singer captioned a video by pastor John W. Gray III. His message seemed to be that women need to check their character and raise it if they want to be a wife.
"You’re not a wife when I marry you, you’re a wife when I find you," he said to rapturous applause. "You become my wife when I marry you. But a wife is not the presence of a ring, it’s the presence of your character. Too many women want to be married, but you’re walking in the spirit of girlfriend."
This message didn't sit well with a lot of people on Twitter, and it immediately erupted in righteous wrath at the vague post, assuming all sorts of meaning. Shortly thereafter, other voices came to Ciara's defense, saying that the message is being misinterpreted by her haters. The whole debate was enough to push Ciara to the top of Twitter's trending topics, inspiring over 100,000 tweets.
Watch the video in Ciara's post below, and then wade into the deep end to see all the occasionally NSFW responses from both haters and defenders.
Ciara: Carry yourself like a wife.— Roxxy Haze (@iamroxxyhaze) January 21, 2018
So many sermons are tailored to telling women what they're doing wrong. But, why aren't there more teachings about men being the husband any woman would say 'yes' to? Not saying women should propose. Saying men get ya act together first!— *~Bea (@BeaBad_) January 21, 2018
Ciara’s playing a dangerous game. You should never, no matter how perfect your relationship/marriage appears to be, sit on a throne and tell people why they’re not romantically successful. You can be the queen of the ball today and have cake in your face tomorrow!— January 29th (@KevCoke6) January 21, 2018
Ciara was “Goals” now it’s “Girl you found a man to raise that bastard child and you think you made it”— A Spike Lee Joint (@ImNoRoleModel) January 21, 2018
Oochie Wally & One Mic: The Musical
I saw the video Ciara posted and I just laughed. She’s really acting like a woman who never thought she was gonna get married so being a wife is a huge deal and part of her identity now. I’ve seen several women act like that after securing a ‘Mrs.’ title 😂— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) January 21, 2018
Ciara is doing what many women do when they overcome trials and get married. She’s using her marital status as a weapon against women who are not married. And it’s clear that she’s tied her value and sense of self worth to her marriage, otherwise she wouldn’t have shared that.— CiCi Adams (@CiCiAdams_) January 21, 2018
Ciara can't talk shit. The ONLY reason she's married is because of love that wasn't reciprocated by the aint shit niggas that she actually wanted, so she had to settle for the simp ass good guy. If future had just went trough the motions, she'd still be just his main concubine— Cis lord problematic (@InTheDarkIShine) January 21, 2018
Ciara is doing what many women who are newly married do: act holier than thou.— Brittany♚ (@britshaniece) January 21, 2018
No need to spend time on it.
I think we all could've guessed Ciara was going to be one of *those* women after she got married.— Kimberly Nicole Foster (@KimberlyNFoster) January 21, 2018
Ciara. Sweetie. I’m so sorry but John Gray is wrong. John is literally giving license for men to treat women badly bc they aren’t “wife material”— George M Johnson (@IamGMJohnson) January 21, 2018
What happened to you was wrong, but it wasn’t bc of you having a “girlfriend” spirit and not one of a “wife” https://t.co/EdMNDr978w
Or, we’re looking at married woman who many supported wondering why she feels womens’ accomplishments aren’t enough for us to ‘level up,’ and that we need a man to select us as a wife to be worthy? Marriage is challenging and not a contest of women’s worth.— Michele Canty (@DPMCanty) January 21, 2018
The Support Squad
So now that Hoe Is Life twitter is angry at Ciara they are now talking about her past, her old relationships, and her having a baby out of wedlock. pic.twitter.com/qhjtCccfGj— Ayesha Curry In Training (@_moniemontana) January 21, 2018
I see a lot of chicks mad at Ciara 😂 ...... a married woman ... that's tryin to give y'all advice. Instead of bashing, maybe y'all should take notes.— "Romantic Savage" ❣️✨ (@PrettiRECKLESSS) January 21, 2018
A lot of you keep saying “Ciara can’t talk, Russell Wilson isn’t even husband material.” Bruh he married this woman , loves & respects her and takes care of a child that isn’t his. Nobody even claiming y’all kids 🤣— Unaek. (@DimplesBePlayin) January 21, 2018
.Ciara & Russell looking at their timeline pic.twitter.com/zT5i3VKwE3— Happy Holidays ⛄ (@memoirsofakira) January 21, 2018
The beauty in Ciara’s post is that she posted something with completely ambiguity and leaving it up to interpretation — the reactions tell one everything that they need to know LOL— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ (@drphilDONTEhue) January 21, 2018
LMAOOOO wait so Ciara said if you want a man "act like a wife" and bitches got mad? If cardi B came out and said "Act Like A Hoe you don't need a man" every female in the world would be retweeting it— 🏹🌿💕𝔅𝔲𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔲𝔭. (@TrillxLove) January 21, 2018
y’all mad at ciara for telling y’all the truth . shut up and take her advice . her upgrade was the classiest shit evaaa . 😂 no shade but y’all bitches are way too comfortable in your situations but too quick to bash the next . you obviously need someone to tell you to boss up— . (@ohsousnooks) January 21, 2018
Ciara said she stopped thinking like a girlfriend and started thinking like a wife and people are clapping back with, “but remember before you met Russell!?” like that wasn’t her whole point. Who taught y’all how to argue? Lmaooo— masc potatoes (@CertifiedFool_) January 21, 2018
Leave Ciara alone. She can speak on it cause she made the same mistake. If you’re triggered by what she said then she’s talking to you— Jeremy Phelps (@IndyBred317) January 21, 2018
Just proof that y’all don’t listen to understand.... you just listen to respond— Thee Mrs (@RatchYonce) January 21, 2018
A few weeks ago folks was up here asking Ciara for the exact prayer she said to get Russell Wilson 😒😒😒— Miss Georgiafornia (@SmileSoBright_) January 21, 2018