TooFab recaps AgeGate, Krystal's insanity, and that weird sound Arie makes when he's smooching.
Fans of "The Bachelor" probably never want to hear the number 22 ever again.
(But if you haven't watched Monday's episode and don't want to know more, we recommend you stop reading now.)
That's because when the hit reality series' fourth installment aired Monday night, Bekah M finally revealed her age to the man of the hour, Arie Luyendyk Jr., and rocked his world. She's 22, he's 36 and biologically, he could've fathered her in pubescence. Ewww.
Much Ado About Something or Other
But even before the "big reveal" happened, many of the ABC show's other contestants discussed the age difference between Bekah M and Arie ad nauseam.
Let's see, first Jacqueline and Kendall had a chat about it. Despite being only four years older than Bekah M, the two fretted about Bekah M's marriage readiness at 22 and Arie's possible hesitance. Jacqueline even added that she has gotten her "adventure out" by being single when she was Bekah M's age. Whatever that means.
Later, Caroline and Chelsea wondered if Arie would send Bekah M packing because she is so much younger than him. Caroline was sure it would, adding, "If she tells him how old she is, he'll end it tonight."
And for a moment, it seemed as though Caroline had psychic abilities because Arie really wrung his hands and considered sending Bekah M home. As he decided, the lovebirds debated why age matters and the right age for marriage.
In case you got lost in all the close talking, Arie thinks Bekah M is too young for marriage while Bekah M argued that her sister, brother and mother all got hitched when they were barely legal enough to consume alcohol. Oh, you crazy kids.
Whatever she said worked as she stared up at him with her big brown doe eyes because all of sudden, Arie stopped saying "but you're 22" and handed Bekah M a rose at the end of their one-on-one. Cue Sam Smith's "Stay with Me."
Rose Red Flags
To be clear, Bekah M's age is something Arie will have to reconcile internally as the two grow closer.
Unlike her gray-haired suitor, Bekah M has never had a long-term romantic relationship with a thirty-something. She also doesn't have a career aside from working as a nanny. All of these are red flags in the love department because these two aren't equals.
But age ain't nothing but a number compared to Krystal's scarier and redder red flags -- like when she thought eating worms was beneath her or when she jealously leered at Arie and Kendall as the two wandered away from the group to kiss in the woods.
Krystal's premeditated decision to take Arie aside to profess her love for him just before the final rose ceremony is another dirty move. Dude canceled the cocktail party. Respect the process, you manipulative monster!
Meanwhile, Seinne is too normal for Arie. Sure, he gave her a rose following a one-on-one. But this is also a guy who moans "Hmmm" sometimes when he kisses women, and worst of all, keeps giving Krystal roses, which keep her around. Brittany T and Caroline got booted for that?
Perhaps the "Saturday Night Live" parody of "The Bachelor" is right: If Arie's on this show at this age, something in his life went terribly wrong.
"The Bachelor" season 22 airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.