"The people of Philadelphia weren't satisfied with just taking down the New England Patriots, they also took down their longtime nemesis, Philadelphia," Stephen Colbert jokes.
The celebration for Eagles fans didn't end after Philadelphia took down the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII on Sunday -- the party spilled onto the streets of Philly, and late-night hosts could not believe the levels of destruction over winning.
James Corden called the offensive throwdown the best Super Bowl ever, but Tom Brady might disagree. But there was one thing Corden, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers could agree on. The New England Patriots weren't the only big losers of the night. The City of Brotherly Love took quite a beating, too.
It's possible they may have taken things a little too far in celebrating the Eagles' first-ever Super Bowl victory. At least there was plenty on the field to celebrate. Maybe next time some simple high fives will suffice.
"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
"The people of Philadelphia weren't satisfied with just taking down the New England Patriots," said Stephen Colbert of their epic victory. "They also took down their longtime nemesis, Philadelphia."
He showed extensive footage from the riots that consumed the streets of Philadelphia, including overturned cars, people trust falling off of awnings, climbing gates, breaking traffic signals and tearing down light poles. In one video, a woman could be heard screaming that Philly was burning. "It's hard to tell from that, but that was a screaming inferno of joy," Colbert clarified. "There was so much fire and crying, for a second I thought I was watching 'This Is Us.'"
He did have to open his monologue with a quick jab at the five-time Super Bowl champion. "Did you guys catch the Super Bowl last night?" he asked his audience. When they erupted in applause, he responded, "Then you're better at catching things than Tom Brady," referencing Brady's drop of a similar pass to the one Eagles QB Nick Foles caught in the endzone.
"The Late Late Show with James Corden"
Corden marveled at the enthusiasm of Eagles fans after their win, too. "Everyone in Philly was a winner last night," he said. "Unless your car was parked at the intersection of Broad Street and Chestnut. Then today, you are riding the bus because you're car's still on fire."
He caught the footage of a man proposing to his girlfriend during the riots, and while she was holding a 40-ounce. "She was drinking Olde English malt liquor," Corden marveled. "I don't want to say that stuff is strong, but it wasn't until this morning she realized he proposed with an onion ring."
He even took a moment to poke fun at Kevin Hart's drunken antics on the field after the game. He tried to get on stage for the Vince Lombardi trophy presentation only to be rebuffed by security. He did manage to sneak into the broadcast booth, but after dropping an s-bomb, he dropped the mic and backed away.
"That's a pro right there," Corden said of Hart. "He was just sober enough to realize, 'Maybe I shouldn't be on TV.'"
"Jimmy Kimmel Live"
Not everyone was celebrating after the Patriots' loss, obviously. "Tom Brady, they say he was so distraught after the game he chugged a quart of almond milk and ate half of a grape," Jimmy Kimmel noted. "I hope he's OK."
He further suggested that it was time to finally do something about the fact that most Americans are expected to return to work after watching the game. "They should swap President's Day out for Super Bowl Monday," he suggested. "The fact that we have to work the morning after being required as Americans to watch a game -- drunk no less. It's downright unpatriotic and I'm calling on President Trump to do something about it right now."
Kimmel also took note of the expression on Eagles VP of Football Operations Howie Roseman when they cut to him with less than a minute in the game. You'd think it would be celebration time, but Roseman looked both scared and concerned. "That is the look of a man who owes a lot of money to the mob or something," Kimmel noted. "Seriously, he needs to find another line of work or he's not gonna live that long."
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
Seth Meyers congratulated Philadelphia on their Super Bowl Victory, adding, "Philadelphia then went on to defeat Philadelphia."
He went on to show footage of the celebrations. "Dozens of Eagles fans were seen stage diving off the awning of the Philadelphia Ritz-Carlton after last night's Super Bowl win," he pointed out. "But don't worry, they died."
He couldn't seem to resist getting a jab in at Philadelphia's expense. As they were probably all sleeping off their night of carnage, he may have gotten away with it. "According to Coach Doug Peterson, last night's trick touchdown pass to Eagles quarterback Nick Foles was nicknamed the Philly Special," Meyers said. "It replaces the old Philly Special, barfing a cheesesteak into a trash can while people whip batteries at you."
Nobody tell Philly he said this. If they turn over cars and burn down their city when they're happy, what would they do when angry?