It's exactly what you'd expect from a "Vanderpump Rules" Vegas adventure.
"Vanderpump Rules" was a glorious hot mess on Monday as Lisa Vanderpump and husband Ken Todd invited Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz to Las Vegas to attend meetings related to TomTom -- the bar they're opening under the management of the two Toms.
Over the course of a few days and nights of partying hard, the boys attended various meetings to help decide on different elements of the new bar, and while they were attentive and coherent during most of their meetups, they were completely out of it for the last one.
"I'm still sweating out fireball and my hair smells like cigarettes, but if we don't keep going at least on some level, we're gonna crash," Schwartz said to Sandoval as they took turns chugging fireball before meeting with Lisa, Ken and Lisa's restaurant designer, Nick Alain. "I'm sincerely excited about making some business decisions."
"You look terrible," Lisa said to Sandoval as he and Schwartz strolled in late, reeking of booze. "Your eyes -- they've almost disappeared. You're not looking so good right now."
Tom Squared continued to stumble over each other and talk over Lisa while they toured Nick's gallery until Lisa eventually snapped.
"Stop," she said like the stern mother that she is. "Can you guys either settle down now and be quiet for a little bit, or go do something else? It's imperative in business and in life when somebody knows more than you, you should know when to zip it. And this should be that time."
Sandoval later nervously told Bravo cams, "I think I said too much because maybe I drank too much. I really hope she's not pissed. I hope she's not questioning our partnership."
But before all that went down, Brittany confided in Katie and Ariana that she had been nauseous for the past few days. She also admitted to them that she and Jax don't use protection, so she bought a pregnancy test, and for some inexplicable reason, it was negative. But that didn't keep her from having a little fun with Jax, who -- for about 10 seconds -- was convinced he was going to be a father.
Back in Los Angeles, Lala Kent was gearing up to put on an event to showcase her new music, when she told Bravo cams, "It just feels absolutely amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I know I am musically."
After an awkward pause, an off-camera producer had to tell Lala she said "legs" instead of "wings."
She eventually corrected herself.
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.