Becca Kufrin is on her way to an upgraded life of happiness with her newest gig.
He apologized to Becca Kufrin for proposing to her and misleading her -- "I didn't want to be rash," he said. But ultimately, he had an air and shrug of silent defiance that implied, "I had to get mine. Get yours."
To this point, Arie did two things horribly wrong: One, he talked to Lauren Burnham first to make sure she would take him back. And then he broke up with Becca, which proves he didn't decide to call things off with his fiancée of six weeks until he knew for certain he wouldn't end up empty handed.
Making matters worse, he decided that the breakup needed to be done in front of a camera crew. This is something Arie, host Chris Harrison and several former "Bachelor" contestants confirmed.
"I think that the reason why I did it in the way that I did it was because I wanted everyone here and at home to know that this was on me," Arie said to Becca. "And it wasn't on you."
For the record, Arie, no one blames Becca.
Closure and Happily Ever Afters
If you sat there and wondered how on God's green Earth Becca could behave in such a composed and dignified manner especially while sharing a couch with the douche who dumped her, you are not alone.
"It was hard to relive these moments, to feel that and to know what all went down," Becca told Chris. "But watching it back helps me get some closure -- just to see how hurt I was and how blindsided I was."
OK, girl. We know you're from Minnesota and you're stoic and graceful like a young Kate Walsh, but still. How did you not stab Arie with one of your opened-toed stilettos or at the very least slap him? And then it hit us. This woman is the new "Bachelorette"!
And sure enough, that's exactly what happened and exactly how Chris, the producers and ABC tried to make it up to "Bachelor" Nation -- by allowing us to lash out at Arie and exalt Becca in a two-hour fell swoop.
But we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Before Chris' big announcement, the Rose Red Flag Roller Coaster of Emotion had to commence. So producers trotted out some of Arie's ex-girlfriends who are now friends with Becca. Our favorite is Bekah Martinez, the wisest 23-year-old on TV, who is just happy she dodged Arie's crazy love bullet.
"He is not a genuine person," Bekah said. "He just wants to say whatever he needs to say to the person that's in front of him to get what he wants. I think he's an incredibly manipulative person."
Later, Jason and Molly Mesnick came out in support of Arie. They've been married for 8 years -- ever since Jason proposed to Melissa only to dump her and instead wed Molly, the runner-up. Sound familiar?
Arie's Addiction to Love and Becca's Comeback
Jason's words of encouragement softened the blow just enough to allow Arie and Lauren to sit on the couch together and talk to Chris.
Lauren said she is in love with Arie, and we believe her, but the dude is like a grown-up Napoleon Dynamite with less charm and cooler hair. He has all the warmth and compassion of Michael Myers to boot. But Lauren loves him and she even called him "brave." Shudder.
"No love story is perfect," Arie said, smiling smugly while deflecting everyone's evil stares. "It doesn't matter. She's sitting next to me. This is why I did this."
And that's when Arie got down on one knee and proposed to Lauren. She enthusiastically said yes and cried and smiled and Arie's parents high-fived Lauren's parents. It was disgusting, but the studio audience applauded if only to make it end more quickly.
Then Chris announced that Becca is the new "Bachelorette" and got things started by introducing the brunette beauty to five of the men who will be vying for her heart. Early favorites are Lincoln, the charming Black Brit, and Blake -- he's the cutie at the end who presented Becca with a horse to "get back up on." Awwwww!
Becca's quest for love will premiere May 28, and Arie and Lauren are going to take an extended vacation out of the country to avoid "The Bachelor" backlash. Ain't love grand?