"Experts say the match would go 9 rounds with 10 bathroom breaks," Jimmy Fallon jokes.
The feud between the two men was the talk of late-night TV on Thursday, after Biden said, "If we were in high school, I'd take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him" about Trump at a recent rally. Trump retaliated by tweeting, "Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn't know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don't threaten people Joe!"
Below are the punchiest bites of the night!
"Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
"What the president might need next is a boxing instructor," Jimmy Kimmel said during his monologue. "This is what it's come to, two old men arguing about who could beat the other one up."
The host then played a faux commercial promoting a "White House, Fight House" battle between "Crazy Joe Biden" and "Donald 'The Grabber' Trump," both appearing shirtless.
"They really should do that, all proceeds to charity, whoever wins gets to be president," he joked.
"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"
"Women everywhere went, 'Thank god we didn't elect an emotional woman to lead our country," joked Jimmy Fallon about Trump's angry Twitter reaction to Biden.
"Even though they're both in their 70s, Biden and Trump area talking about fighting," he continued. "Experts say the match would go 9 rounds with 10 bathroom breaks."
"It's crazy. Biden and Trump are threatening to beat each other up," Fallon added. "It got even weirder when Bernie Sanders ripped off his shirt and yelled, 'Tag me in, let's do this thing, come at me bro!'"
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
"The last time I saw two old dudes going at it like that, my local Walmart was down to its last bottle of prune juice," joked Seth Meyers.
"This whole ordeal is embarrassing, not only because it degrades our political discourse but also because it would never happen," he added. "Could you imagine these two actually fighting? It would end as soon as one of them accidentally stepped on his own super long testicles!"
In the end, Meyers said Biden would not be America's choice to take on Trump. "We're not going to pick you," he said, "we're going to pick Ronda Rousey."