Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers have questions of their own while Trevor Noah and Jordan Klepper think Trump's team leaked the list.
After The New York Times published a list of 49 questions that Robert Mueller purportedly wants to ask the president, the next biggest question was where they got them, and late-night hosts had some theories Tuesday.
They also have some questions of their own, with Stephen Colbert adding a few to Mueller's list, while Seth Meyers flipped the table and revealed the questions he believes Donald Trump would like to ask Mueller. Meanwhile, both Trevor Noah and Jordan Klepper on Comedy Central dug into the notion that it was Trump -- or at least his legal team -- that leaked the questions themselves.
If Trump was behind the leak, he did some quick damage control to try and cover up his actions by tweeting his outrage over it. He also clearly didn't read all through the questions, or he's trying to control the narrative, because he said none of them are about collusion, when 14 of them are.
So disgraceful that the questions concerning the Russian Witch Hunt were “leaked” to the media. No questions on Collusion. Oh, I see...you have a made up, phony crime, Collusion, that never existed, and an investigation begun with illegally leaked classified information. Nice!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2018
Trump also said the investigation was based on the leak of classified information by James Comey, but that's been proven false as well. But hey, don't let the truth stop you. It's so shocking that Trump's people wouldn't want him speaking with Mueller, even though he's totally down to do it.
But would they go through with leaking this list of questions to the media in an effort to convince the president not to testify, as some are theorizing? He's certainly not listening to his own legal counsel urging him not to testify. But then "Fox & Friends" did a segment on the questions where they said Trump shouldn't testify, and suddenly it's looking like a pretty good strategy. We know he listens to his friends at Fox.
"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
Colbert wasn't too thrilled to see the list published in The New York Times. "If Trump sees the questions in advance, he'll cheat," he lamented.
As for who to blame for the leak, Colbert said, "Trump wants to pin the blame on Mueller, but Mueller's former assistant says grammatical errors in the document prove that the leaked questions came from the Trump White House."
The real issue, though, is that the list of questions seemed incomplete to Colbert, and so he added a few of his own.
- Did you do it?
51: But really though, did you?
Would you rather fight one Robert Mueller sized horse, or 100 duck-sized Robert Muellers?
- Michael has 130,000 apples, and Stormy has 0 apples. If Michael gives Stormy 130,000 apples, why would he do that if you hadn't had sex with her?
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
Meyers thought he'd save the special counsel a lot of time with a video clip of President Trump. After detailing the 49 questions Mueller has, he added, "President Trump still only has the one answer."
He then played the clip, which is Trump saying defiantly, "Stupid question."
"If you just want to make it easier on yourself, ask Trump one question and he'll give you 49 different answers," Meyers suggested, as another way to get through the process quickly.
The "Late Night" host then countered Mueller's 49 questions with a list of questions Donald Trump would like to ask Mueller.
Highlights included real ponderers like, "Why are there underpants, but no overpants?" and, "Is it true birds poop and pee out of the same hole? What about women?"
He also asked about Jeff Sessions' pot of gold, if Robert Mueller was the pig farmer from "Babe," and whether or not Mike Pence is a ghost. But the most important question he saved for last: "How do you president?"
"The Daily Show with Trevor Noah"
After one news station printed out approximately 40 of Mueller's questions and put them on the big screen behind their reporter, Trevor Noah immediately saw a problem with providing these questions to Trump. "That's a ton of questions," he pointed out. "You can't make Trump read that much. The only thing Trump reads are his Twitter mentions and the Garfield cartoons the CIA slips into his daily intelligence briefings."
He then explored the notion that the leak, which Trump was so angry about, came from within his own camp. In particular, he looked at the theory that it was Trump's legal team who gave the list to the Times. "Being Trump's lawyer must be so exhausting. He won't listen to you so you have to launder your legal advice through the TV," Noah marveled. "This is the world's easiest open book test and still Trump's people are like, 'Yeah, I'm worried he's still gonna fail.'"
"The Opposition with Jordan Klepper"
Former "Daily Show" correspondent Jordan Klepper plays a faux-conservative conspiracy theorist in the vein of Alex Jones -- or to a lesser extent, Sean Hannity -- on "The Opposition," airing after "The Daily Show" much like Stephen Colbert's similar character ran after Jon Stewart.
"Is Trump the kind of guy who would walk into a perjury trap? Or hang himself with rope?" Klepper said in (fake) admiration of his president. "Or step on a rake and then step backwards onto another rake that hits him on the back of the head and knocks him into a swimming pool? No. The answer is no!
But even pro-Trump Klepper could see one serious problem with these questions. None of them were multiple choice, or true-or-false. "You can't ask Trump open-ended questions. 'Fox & Friends' asked him what he got Melania for her birthday, and he talked for 30 minutes," Klepper pointed out. "And the answer was 'nothing.'"