"My motto has always been deny, deny, deny," Ronnie says on Thursday's "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" after he learns his girlfriend may have seen footage of him grinding on another woman.
Let's review: Last week, Ronnie brought home four chicks from the club, one of whom -- the one he was grinding on -- made it up to his room. Pauly D knocked some sense into Ronnie before anything too terrible could happen, but as Deena Cortese told TooFab, it's still unclear what went down in that room.
Ronnie began to panic when his then-pregnant girlfriend back home, Jen Harley, refused to answer any of his phone or FaceTime calls. Could she have discovered her baby daddy was canoodling inappropriately with a random French girl he met at a Miami club? Yes, yes she could have, because it is 2018 and cellphones exist.
Lauren Pesce, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new fiancée, called the house and told Ronnie there was an entire Instagram account dedicated to following the cast of "Jersey Shore" as they partied in Miami. Lauren said there were multiple videos of Ronnie dancing with a blonde girl at a club and that several people were tagging Jen in the comments section. His face sank, but when Lauren said that the videos were of Ronnie "twirling" the girl around and not grinding on her, he was instantly relieved -- and also struck by amnesia.
"Oh, yeah, twirling her!" Ronnie said to Lauren. (The relief was palpable.) "Salsa dancing. There was Spanish music. It wasn't like her grinding on my dick or anything like that, right?"
"No, it wasn't that, but she was like in a see-through outfit," Lauren replied.
"Well, that's her fault," Ronnie said. "I didn't f-cking tell her to wear that."
After hanging up with Lauren, Ronnie looked at Mike, Pauly and Vinny Guadagnino and actually said, "So it's not even that bad."
The furrowed eyebrows and blank stares said it all.
Vinny tried to advise Ronnie to look at the situation from Jen's point of view, but Ronnie wasn't having it.
"Well, if she was a grownup and f-cking let me explain myself and tell her the whole situation, the whole scenario -- she's building it all up in her head of me twirling a girl? It's not like the girl was grinding on me," Ronnie said. "If she was bent over, then yeah, but--"
"I'm not gonna lie, though, that did happen," Vinny interrupted. "I don't know if you remember or what. She was grinding on you."
"When?" Ronnie said, blankly staring at Vinny.
"When?! In the corner. The whole time," Vinny replied.
"What're you talking about? I was salsa dancing with her," Ronnie said.
"Bro, the girl was grinding on you," Vinny insisted. "It was more than just--"
"Yo, it looked so bad 'cause that girl had no bra on," Pauly so eloquently interjected.
Ronnie kept insisting he "didn't do anything," and Vinny kept insisting he did. Mike tried to explain to Ronnie that taking the girl upstairs and closing the door was not a good look, but Ronnie had a perfectly good explanation: "I was giving her a tour of the house. I was being a nice, hospitable person. I did not close the door. And you know what, I didn't know that the door had a f-cking automatic closure out of nowhere, so the f-cking door shut, so it looked worse than what it really was. I did not shut the door."
"Must've been a draft up in there," Pauly blurted out.
The conversation inspired Ronnie to pick up the phone and give Jen another try. She answered, but she was definitely not chatty.
"My motto has always been deny, deny, deny," Ronnie told the cameras. "But that shit's not gonna work this time."
Jen was quiet and short with her responses, but not once did she mention the girl from the club. She said she was tired from going to a doctor's appointment and then the gym but insisted she was "good."
"You're not good," Ronnie said. "So we're moving past this or no? Because I'm not gonna sit in this house--"
"Past what?" Jen said. "Like, what is your deal?"
"You know what the f-ck my deal is!" he fired back. "You have an issue with what you saw on Instagram!"
The entire exchange was as cringe-worthy as it seems. But even more cringe-worthy is that Jen actually ends up coming to visit. Unfortunately for us, we don't get to see that shitstorm until next week.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.