If there really is a second Civil War unfolding today, so far it's only being fought on Twitter.
The social media platform lit up with mockery over InfoWars founder Alex Jones' "report" that Democrats would spark another Civil War on the Fourth of July.
"BREAKING: Democrats Plan To Launch Civil War On July 4th," the proud conspiracy theorist tweeted on July 1. In a video accompanying the claim, Jones said he saw "internal emails" between Democrats, their fundraisers and donors "saying, 'Don't worry, we're going to launch a civil war.'"
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View Story"It's not that I'm that smart, but I'm paying attention," Jones added in one of his wildest broadcasts yet, in which he blamed "elite publications" for stoking coordinated civil unrest.
So far, we haven't heard of any shots being fired, with the exception of some pretty funny tweets under the top-trending hashtag "#SecondCivilWar" and even "#SecondCivilWarLetters."
"Ellen" producer Andy Lassner and "Modern Family" producer Danny Zuker were among those chiming in from the Hollywood front while Twitter had a field day making fun of the ridiculous conspiracy theory. Enjoy some of the funniest responses as Americans humorously brace for another war on our soil.
I fear if we don't win this, the future of the word “you're” is at stake. #SecondCivilWar
@andylassner
The trending hashtag #IndependanceDay is misspelled. #Murica
@andylassner
Dear Ma,
@rmayemsinger
Donald Trump said the Dems started the war
Kirstjen Nielsen said there isn't a war
Sarah Sanders referred the war to outside counsel, but she spelled it right
Rudy Giuliani is missing in action & feared lost
Stephen Miller is jacking off to the war#secondcivilwarletters
Hey, so if you're participating in the #SecondCivilWar we'll be gathering at the soccer field next to the Beach Cities Toyota and if everyone could bring some healthy snacks that would be super. And nothing with peanuts this time, Denise!
@DannyZuker
Happy 4th of July, everybody. Be safe and use the buddy system in case a skirmish breaks out. If you catch a whiff of citronella, that means the tiki torch trolls are coming. Put down your craft beer, kombucha or rosé and brace yourself for the #SecondCivilWar.
@adamcbest
My attire for the Independence Day Ball tonight. If the #SecondCivilWar takes me, I shall look fly before I die. pic.twitter.com/yabZOUOzw5
@adamcbest
Dearest,
@tonyposnanski
I write this and I do not know how much longer I have. I am at a BBQ with many red hats.
They made me eat potato salad made with Miracle Whip.
I'm dying.
#SecondCivilWar
Dear Sister,
@OLittleNana
Today we easily defeated a regiment of Redhats. We learned their commander, Colonel Dana Loesch ordered her troops to engage in hand to hand combat telling them "guns don't kill people, people kill people."
She was wrong. #secondcivilwarletters
Dearest,
@Twila75
Close call. I was on the porch drinking from my Starbucks holiday cup when a mob of red caps came out of nowhere grunting "IT'S MERRY CHRISTMAS!" I responded with "Murica!" and they moved on, apparently satisfied at their expert trolling. #secondcivilwarletters
Dearest Charles, MealTeam6 has infiltrated our camp. They ate many of our supplies, but left the fruits and vegetables. Waiting on reinforcements. #SecondCivilWar #secondcivilwarletters pic.twitter.com/srUHSIJgax
@GenaRay18
My brothers and sisters:
@MasterMorgan317
I regretfully report that I will not be able to make it to the battlefield for the #SecondCivilWar. I was drafting battle plans in a Starbucks when I was arrested for not buying anything. You must stay strong in my absence. #secondcivilwarletters
Dearest Mother,
@cwalsh516
How I miss the cool dampness of my basement bedroom, the piping hot Pizza rolls you'd bring to me- the women here in the cities are very mean; how I wish you were here to tell me I am your big soldier boy. #SecondCivilWarLetters #SecondCivilWar #4thofJuly2018 pic.twitter.com/AC8LXBGp1Y
Dear Sir,
@KelliD001
After pouring over the covfefe documents seized at the battle of Bowling Green, we have determined the Reds never had a plan. They were just right-winging it all along. #secondcivilwarletters
Dearest Mother,
@williamlegate
I am in Bowling Green… we have taken over a soybean farm to feed our Antifa Supersoldiers.
Unfortunately, spy microwaves have captured images of the enemy closing in—I'm not sure how much longer we'll last.
Praise Soros. #SecondCivilWarLetters pic.twitter.com/jW2inog0BS
My Dearest Children,
@NoNameCecelia
We have managed to capture and occupy the Chick-fil-a and Hobby Lobby. Our intention is to make the enemy eat gay sandwiches and do gay crafts.
With much love,
Your libtard mother #SecondCivilWarLetters
When you didn't get the memo about the dress code for the #SecondCivilWar. pic.twitter.com/FD98Fzvc7m
@TheScottCharles
I've brought weapons. Which way to the #SecondCivilWar? pic.twitter.com/cunF7kfHA1
@Sister_Bee
