This hour featured the funniest thing ever seen on "Big Brother" and the most disastrously successful Head of Household reign ever.
All hell just broke loose in the "Big Brother" house and it is only week two, people! Kaitlyn laid the groundwork for her Backdoor Swaggy plan in the previous episode, so she just needed someone to win the Power of Veto that could help her execute it.
The competition was hosted by Season 19 standouts Cody and Jess, with Jessica doing most of the heavy lifting because Cody remains as monotone and robotic as ever. Producers even added robotic sounds to his head turns to really sell his steely personality. And, in fact, the competition proved a walk down "Big Brother" memory lane, featuring cutouts of seven Houseguests from seasons past the current crew had to take on fake dates based on likes and dislikes.
But as fun as that was, it was only the prelude before the fireworks to come. The big difference this season is that basically the entire house aligned on one side against the other in the first week. There are usually alliances formed here and there, but this is the first time that every single Houseguest was essentially tied to one side or the other going into the very first vote.
That's why Kaitlyn flipping her vote was such a monumental tidal shift in the game. It was a power move that benefited the other side of the house. But will it prove worth it? After tonight's series of freakouts, we're not so sure.
We're going to run this season like you'd run a department store. Each product, or celebrity, may have come in with equal value, but pretty quickly you start to see that certain ones aren't working. First, you try discounting them to see if they can turn things around and become solid performers again. But if that doesn't work, it's time to put them on clearance so you can sell them out (the door). With that said, let's take a look at our inventory, ranked from our strongest performer to our weakest ... after we spotlight a couple of exciting new item in stock.
SPOTLIGHT ITEM: Zero Stars
Thank goodness all the heaviness of the week was balanced by a Chris Farley wannabe entering the house and making Rachel's life a living hell for 24 hours. It was her punishment for being the "least trending" Houseguest this week, and it came in the form of a man literally yelling criticisms at her of everything she did in the house.
It was also the funniest thing that's ever happened on "Big Brother." Forget Zingbot, this guy was a genius!
"Hearing your voice is like hearing nails on a chalkboard!" he shouted at her after first coming into the house. "Am I watching Big Brother or Whiney Rachel? You get zero stars!" He continued following her around, screaming at her for every little thing she did, including making the bed.
But his masterstroke came in the middle of the night as he stood in the darkness by her bed. "Rachel, you are the worst sleeper ever!" he screamed, waking up the whole house. "You toss and turn more than a washing machine." He then leaned into the next room and yelled, "How do you get any rest at all with Rachel's horrible sleeping?!"
Later, the man calmly told Rachel that maybe they'd gotten off on the wrong foot, and he'd like to talk it out over a cop of coffee. After tasting her brew, though, he spit it out, poured it on the counter and announced to the house that she makes the worst coffee he has ever tasted. We were dying!
SPOTLIGHT ITEM: HouseguestsOnly.com
Who knew how ugly this could get. Tyler took home the Power of Veto, which was great for his game and the plan he helped plant in Kaitlyn's head to backdoor Swaggy. The problem was that once the plan was in motion, Kaitlyn began to totally freak out. She tried lying to her best fried in the house, Faysal, about it before ultimately coming clean. She told Haleigh about it in hopes Haleigh would have her back, only she totally didn't.
Here's the problem. She didn't tell any of them why she wanted to backdoor one of her own alliance members, nor did she tell them how this would benefit their games. Granted, they don't know about the Level 6 alliance, but based on the vote that got Steve sent home, they should sense there's a clear divide in the house and weakening their side only benefits ... the other side. Like, duh!
We've heard of bad jury management (ahemPaulahem), but this is possibly the worst alliance management we've ever seen. We feared Kaitlyn would play her HOH more with her emotions than her brain, but it looks like she may have shut her brain off completely after this one. Not only did she alienate and anger her own alliance, she put the biggest target on her back going into a week she can't compete for the next HOH. She better hope Tyler has her back, because half the house is gunning for it!
Tyler (even) may be an evil genius, but he's certainly playing an ingenious game. He's not even Head of Household, and yet he ran this week like he was. We're not sure if blowing up Kaitlyn's game was part of the plan, but it definitely happened. We're also not sure if he has any cares to bring her under his wing.
Angela (up 9), Brett (up 7), Kaycee (up 7) and Rachel (up 7) rise toward the top by association with Tyler and his Level 6 alliance. It remains to be seen if they'll offer any shelter to Kaitlyn after how disastrously her HOH went for her own game. We're kind of thinking they won't. She did their dirty work for them, but they don't really owe her for that, do they?
JC (down 2), Sam (down 2) and Scottie (up 2) are doing their floater thing flawlessly, letting the bigger targets take shots at one another. Keep with that social game, don't make any enemies, and this is a solid way to survive the first few weeks.
Haleigh (down 2), Faysal (down 4) and Rockstar (down 7) are gobsmacked by Kaitlyn's flip agains their alliance. Right now, they're very angry and emotional, but they're also down in numbers against the Level 6 alliance, so how they react to this development will be the key to what happens next for their games. To their benefit, they are starting to see through Tyler's "stupid" guise and see the masterful player he's proving to be.
Bayleigh (even) is right there with the above group, but one slot lower because of her association with this week's target. She could bounce back fine if he does leave the house and redirect her game, but for now, she's a target by association.
Kaitlyn (down 7) is in the worst possible spot we've seen in a very long time for an outgoing HOH. It was a baller move to backdoor Swaggy, but she managed the social side of it so poorly, she has no allies in the house except for Tyler, and his loyalty is dubious at best. Tyler is playing a masterful game, but it's Tyler's game.
Winston (even) should be in the clear and go back to being an anonymous bro after this week, but pawns have been known to go home. And with the house so volatile and emotional after that backdoor, it's possible Swaggy's life could be saved through some crazy fluke (we're not counting on Sam using her power to save him, though)
Swaggy (even) is more than likely going home tomorrow night. It would take a really crazy sequence of events to prevent that, but this is "Big Brother," and that house was really crazy when we left it. Tomorrow should be very, very interesting.
OVERHEARD IN THE CHECKOUT LANE
"Hi, I'm Kaitlyn. I'm 24. I'm a fan of essential oils, meditation and the back door." -- Kaitlyn (Awkward phrasing during HouseguestsOnly.com dating competition.)
"Hey ladies. I'm Tyler. I'm a lifeguard, and I can run in slow motion." --Tyler (pretty good line, honestly.)
"Congratulations. Tyler. You. Have. Won. The. Golden. Power. Of. Veto." --Cody (even more robotic than he was on Season 19.)
"So I got the veto. I'm stoked. But on the other hand, I'm not that stoked because so far in the game, I'm kind of running things, but I just don't want anybody else knowing that." --Tyler (yeah you are!)
"Winston clocked his time all the way out. sorry buddy 'cause your time in this 'Big Brother' is clocked out soon, too." --Swaggy (but is it, though?)
"I trust you, I'm just like really freaking out now." --Kaitlyn (about to betray her own alliance for Tyler)
- "I respect that you told him up front and now you're going to follow through with it." --Faysal
- "That's who I am." --Kaitlyn
- "Okay, so who are we putting up?"
"Probably Angela." (uh-oh, that lie's not gonna go over well)
- "Tyler makes me really uncomfortable. No specific reason, except that he plays stupid, but I think he is shady." --Rockstar (totally reading the room)
"I'm pretty sure she's gonna use the veto to take Scottie down and put Angela up." --Faysal (totally misreading the room)
- "I really hope we can stay friends after what I'm about to do." --Kaitlyn
- "What are you gonna do? Just tell me. I'm not gonna say anything." --Faysal
"You know what I'm gonna do."
- "Can I have a hug?" --Kaitlyn (after confessing her plan to Faysal)
"I'm really sorry to those of you who are going to be angry at me, but I'm not promised this position ever again. So I'm really sorry. Swaggy." --Kaitlyn (backdoor mission complete and completely in tears)
- "I'm gonna make everybody's life a living hell." --Swaggy (we believe you)
"Big Brother" airs Wednesdays and Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET, and Sundays at 8p.m. ET on CBS.