"They say it's the thought that counts, but right now, I'm counting thots," Vinny says on Thursday's "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation."
Jersey's finest guidos and guidettes wrapped up their Las Vegas stay on Thursday's "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation," but not before everyone's favorite fictional couple tied the knot.
In the most romantic proposal since Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino asked Lauren Pesce to marry him last season, Pauly D popped the question to Vinny Guadagnino. He said yes, and the two headed to a nearby chapel to make their bromance official.
Last week, the boys sent the girls off to the airport under the assumption they were right behind them. They lied. They stayed behind to fit in one more "guys night" -- and did they ever.
Mike and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro attended Pauly and Vin's "bromitment." Mike's job was to hold the cake, which was a terrible idea. Big Daddy Sitch ended up eating most of it during the ceremony. (Relatable.)
Pauly and Vinny exchanged beautiful vows before Pauly put a gold band on Vinny's finger. Vin wasn't too happy, though. "The guy is covered in diamonds," he told the camera. "Like, you could've given me a little bit of ice. C'mon!"
The guys then headed to the Vegas strip for one last hurrah. The evening quickly turned into "Thotchella," and Mike was having a hard time.
"Right now, it is madness," he said. "I feel like I'm in 'The Matrix' right now, dodging all the thotties."
Ronnie was also trying to control himself. "I feel like I'm at one of Pauly's gigs," he said. "This whole cabana is DTF!"
Welp, the party came back to their Planet Hollywood suite -- and it quickly made its way to the stripper pole, conveniently located inside the shower.
"They say it's the thought that counts, but right now, I'm counting thots," Vinny said as he made his way into the shower to join his hubby and three of the four girls they brought back with them.
Girl No. 4 went to the Mike school of foods before dudes, so instead of taking her clothes off and twerking on guidos, she sat on the couch and waited for room service. Naturally, Mike took a liking to her, and the two munched on burgers, fries and nuggets together as the others made their way into Pauly and Vinny's room.
It's unclear exactly what went down behind closed doors, but it looks like the boys had one helluva time.
Back in Jersey, besties Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley made up after the latter left Vegas early. Nicole also met up with Angelina Pivarnick -- separately -- and convinced her to reach out to Jenni to squash their beef.
Part 2 of the "Family Vacation" will take place at the gang's original Shore House in Seaside Heights. (Yay!) A pregnant Deena Cortese will meet back up with the cast, and we'll get to see whether Jenni accepts Angelina's olive branch -- or sticks around to beat her ass.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at firstname.lastname@example.org.