Mommy was "disgusted" with Auntie Kourtney and Auntie Khloe's terrible fashion choices. Now she knows how I feel when I have to go out with the Disick kids.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" opened with Scott and Mommy getting churros. While they were out, Auntie Kourt called Scott to ask where he was, and Scott lied and said he was at a holistic doctor's office so she wouldn't know he was out eating sugar. There's something nostalgic about Scott lying to Auntie Kourt. Makes it feels like the good ol' days.
Jonathan met Mommy at the Yeezy tailor's office. Mommy was there to get ready for her trip to Japan, where she shot Yeezy Season 7 campaign. There were 20 looks that she hoped the paparazzi would shoot. Again, this is all so nostalgic. Staging paparazzi photos is a Kardashian's favorite pastime.
Kris met up with her long-time friend, Sheila Kolker, for lunch at the Four Seasons. Sheila revealed that going through some of their old photos made her feel old but said she felt Kris looked the same as she did years ago. Kris admitted she only looks the way she does because she's had some help. Of course, by "help," she means plastic surgery. She was able to buy an entirely new face with the 10 percent she made off of Mommy (ears included).
Mommy, Auntie Kourt, and Auntie Khloe then jetted off to Japan. Mommy was determined to get all of her Yeezy looks photographed for the campaign, but she felt like Auntie Kourt and Auntie Khloe were ruining her vibe. She was "disgusted" by their terrible fashion choices. Now she knows how I feel when I have to go out with the Disick kids.
Mommy confronted Auntie Kourt and Auntie Khloe and told them they looked like clowns. She wanted them to dress less Japanese themed and more cool. Auntie Kourt said that Mommy looked like she just won Tour de France. All true statements.
Mommy even suggested a fashion overhaul so Auntie Kourt and Auntie Khloe could stay "young and relevant." Some of you might have thought this was harsh, but maybe if you had a business that you were passionate about, then you would know what it takes to run a business, but you don't.
Kris and Scott met for lunch, and Kris asked Scott how to go about surprising Sheila with a face lift. Scott pointed out that gifting her friend with plastic surgery may be perceived as offensive. On a scale of one to "shove money into a waiter's mouth," Scott would rate this offensiveness at about a 6. Kris eventually decided to set Sheila up with her plastic surgeon, and Sheila was excited.
Back in Japan, Mommy was still criticizing Auntie Kourt and her glam team. Mommy said Kourt didn't look anything special, and she thought her clothes made her look like a grandma. Auntie Kourt said she has three children and a full-time job (where?), so she doesn't have seven stylists. The glam team and Auntie Kourt were mad at Mommy for her criticism, but she didn't care. Mommy gave a half-hearted apology for being opinionated, but said she has to be critical because of the Yeezy campaign. She agreed to work on her delivery so people don't feel attacked. This episode was filmed in March, and I can tell you she's made no progress. I've banned her from all of my fittings because she kept making my stylist cry.
Back in the States, Auntie Khloe's boyfriend, Tristan Thompson, called Kris to get suggestions for a push present for Khloe. Kris suggested jewelry and even hinted at an engagement ring. He also called me for advice, and I suggested not cheating as a push present. I'm sure she would've appreciated that way more than jewelry.
Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 10 of my show.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at email@example.com.