Auntie Kylie had to break the news to Auntie Khloe. In this family, we take turns breaking bad news to each other. I'm the one who told Auntie Kendall that people hated her Pepsi commercial.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" opened with Auntie Kourt, Mason, Penelope and Jonathan at a trampoline center. Mason and Penelope protested the activity because they weren't "up to it," but then production reminded them it's in their contracts to film, so they got back on the trampolines. Auntie Kourt and her kids are so difficult when it comes to work.
Back in Cleveland, Auntie Khloe was waiting to giving birth. The days leading up to her baby's birth were filmed by her or a friend because she was on maternity leave from the show (Who knew that was a thing on this show?). One of the Malikas was in Cleveland keeping her company because Tristan was "on the road," which was code for, "Tristan is somewhere cheating on me in a hookah bar."
While Auntie Kendall showed Scott her new home, they discovered they probably should be hanging out more. They have a lot in common: Kendall doesn't have kids, and Scott acts like he doesn't have kids.
Later, Mommy did lunch and laser hair removal with her new friends, Natalie and Olivia. I just call them Larsa for short. At lunch, Mommy expressed that she wanted to go to her 20-year high school reunion. Her new friends encouraged her to go, and since she's known these people for five minutes, she totally took their advice.
In an effort to hang out more, Auntie Kendall and Scott rode ATVs together, but it wasn't "extreme" enough for them. Scott wanted to kick it up a notch by skydiving. Auntie Kendall was nervous and hesitant, but she agreed to go through with it. I thought dating a teenager was "extreme" enough for Scott, but he likes to live life on the edge.
At Auntie Kourt's house, Mommy was complaining to a friend about being a mom and not being able to sleep all day in peace. I, too, would like to go through a night unbothered, but Saint was her idea, and she has to live with that.
Later, the Tristan scandal exploded! The news of his cheating scandal spread fast in the family group chat. Everyone was shocked and disgusted. Auntie Kylie was the one who broke the news to Auntie Khloe. In this family, we all take turns breaking bad news to each other. I'm the one who had to tell Auntie Kendall that people hated her Pepsi commercial, and Mason had to tell Mommy about those unflattering Mexico pictures, so it was Auntie Kylie's turn.
Auntie Khloe called Mommy saying she wanted to go back to L.A. to have the baby. She also kicked Tristan out of their Cleveland house. It was too late to fly back to L.A., so Auntie Khloe decided to stay in Cleveland and try to have a positive birthing experience with Tristan. Mommy was torn between going to her high school reunion and going to Cleveland, but with all the Tristan drama, she decided to be by Auntie Khloe's side. I sent a few supportive texts, but I was not about to go to Cleveland. There's no Nobu.
More and more stories about Tristan began coming out, and it became clear that he's a chronic cheater. Mommy was convinced he would never change. MJ wanted Auntie Khloe to find a different type of guy, preferably an accountant. I hate to break it to MJ, but cheating isn't measured by one's profession. Just look at Scott -- he's unemployed and cheats like an NBA player.
Auntie Khloe asked the family to be drama-free at the hospital, but Mommy, Auntie Kourt and the Malikas said they were planning on making some pretty harsh facial expressions at Tristan.
Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 13 of my show.
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