Trump's senior advisor dropped by "Face the Nation" on Sunday to talk immigration, but his "proceeding hairline" stole the show.
There was something going on with White House Senior Advisor Stephen Miller's hair on Sunday's "Face the Nation" and late-night television could not not see it.
It was so loud, in fact, they couldn't even hear him talking about the border wall over what Seth Meyers dubbed his "proceeding hairline." Whether it was a slapped-on layer of Sherwin-Williams paint or something he sprayed on before going on the air, it absolutely stole the show.
Long ago, in the 1980s, there was a huge marketing campaign for spray-on hair, used to cover up bald spots on men. Never, though, was it intended to create new hairlines. And while there's no definitive evidence that this is the type of product that Miller used, it certainly looked more like this than any other explanation.
And the bottom line is that no matter what was going on up there, Meyers and his fellow late-night hosts could not stop laughing about it. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Trevor Noah all joined Meyers in devoting time to this bizarre phenomenon, each with a theory of their own as to what was happening.
"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
"We haven't heard a lot lately from White House Senior Advisor and man who someday neighbors will describe as a quiet guy who kept to himself, Stephen Miller," Stephen Colbert said, setting up a discussion on Stephen Miller's "Face the Nation" appearance.
And after playing the clip, Stephen kept a totally serious face for a few moments at least while he talked about the arguments that were coming out of his mouth. But finally he had to interrupt himself.
"Who am I kidding," he interjected. "You can't really hear a word he's saying over the sound of you looking at his sprayed-on hair."
Throwing up a picture of Miller again, Colbert joked, "He looks like Eddie Munster and the Count from 'Sesame Street' had a baby and then the baby went bald."
He had to give proper credit where it was due, though, for getting Miller so confidently on the air with that look. "I gotta salute the hair and makeup team at "Face the Nation," because you know before he went on the air, he turned to them and said, 'How do I look?' 'Um, good. You look good.'"
"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"
Jimmy Fallon pulled up a full-screen image of Miller from Sunday's appearance and left it up for a very long time while he talked about it. This way, we could all soak up all the glory just like Miller's scalp was soaking up all the spray-on goodness.
"I'm not saying he did, but a lot of people are saying that he used spray-on hair before his interview," Fallon said. "People got suspicious when he went to get a haircut at Sherwin-Williams."
He then proceeded to air the clip of Miller's appearance, only with added spraying sound effects and a growing hair presence. By the end, Miller looked like a whole new man ... well newer than he already looked with his shiny new hairline.
"The Daily Show with Trevor Noah"
Trevor Noah couldn't resist a bad pun when he introduced his own Miller segment, saying, "This weekend, Miller was back on TV talking about how America has to pay for the wall, emphasis on toupee."
He then played the video clip from Miller's "Face the Nation" appearance and challenged his audience to see if they noticed what he noticed.
"Did you, uh, did you catch that? Did you guys catch that?" he asked. "Not the stuff about the southern border, no I'm talking about the new border up here. What's going on over there? Bit of a migration happening the other way."
But he actually felt bad for Trump's senior advisor. "I don't think we should be going after Miller," he said. "I think we should be going after his barber, Sherwin-Williams. Seriously, it barely even looks like hair."
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
Seth Meyers had the same problem. He tried to play the clip and respond to Miller's claims about border security, but he just couldn't do it.
"Yeah, uh huh, yeah-yeah-yeah," Meyers said after the clip. "What the hell is going on with Stephen Miller's hair?"
He then theorized that perhaps Miller had what he dubbed "a proceeding hairline" before going into an even more vulgar comparison. Let's just say he considered the possibility that Miller gets aroused talking about immigration issues and it manifests in a most unexpected way.
"Jimmy Kimmel Live"
"Did he think we wouldn't notice that?" Kimmel asked after showing his audience Miller's new look. It's a solid point, considering Miller has been part of the Trump administration for two years now, and he hasn't had a hairline that defined or that low on his forehead in all that time.
He'd been out of the spotlight for a while, sure, but not so long that we all forgot what he looked like and erased all previous photographs and video footage of him from the archives and the internet.
"There's some debate as to whether it was sprayed on or painted on," Kimmel said. "I have a third theory. I believe if we zoom in there is a colony of ants living on Stephen Miller's head."
He then did just that, and let's just say it was the most disturbing thing that happened on late-night television Monday night. We're going to be scratching our heads for the rest of the week. Thanks for that, Jimmy Kimmel!
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at email@example.com.