"We have apparently elected a president who truly does not care what anything looks like. Which is surprising for a guy whose actual face we've never seen," Colbert joked.
"I'm pretty confident, because one thing we've learned from the last two years of Donald Trump is that what it seems like he's doing is exactly what he's doing. There's not grand strategy," he continued, "he's not some puppet master, some wizard playing three dimensional chess. He's playing Hungry Hungry Hippos."
Referencing Trump's tweet saying, "When things calm down they will be thanking me," Colbert added, "How should we thank him? We should get him something special. How about a special prosecutor?"
He ended his segment by bringing out an actual hedge to hide behind.
"Trump fired the the head of the FBI the same way he fired Gary Busey, on television," joked Corden.
Of Spicer, he added, "A grown man hiding in the bushes from doing his job? That's like when I hide in the gym toilets to avoid my personal trainer."
He then took it a step further with this joke: "The Russians were surprised to hear he was hiding in the shrubs because they thought Trump was the only plant in the White House."
Referencing Anderson as well, Corden said, "Never has one eye roll said so much for so many. Even 14 year old mean girls were like, 'That was so impressive! I don't know how Kellyanne Conway got so tanned, because Anderson Cooper was throwing nothing but shade."