Alan Thicke was given an eerie warning about his heart months before dying from a ruptured aorta. But according to his wife, Tanya Callau Thicke, he was the picture of health at the time and actually had plans for a little love making the day he died.
The "Growing Pains" star's widow spoke with TooFab about his passing and how she's coping now in connection with her appearance on the May 31 episode of "Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry." Alan had done a reading for the show before his death, where Henry delivered a message from the other side warning him to keep an eye on his heart. Additional footage with Tanya was filmed as she grieved her husband.
"There was a time where I didn't think I was going to survive. I didn't want to survive," she told TooFab of the days following Alan's passing.
"I'd rather have been gone and be with him and I think that having Tyler come over and it was only two months after Alan passed away and I was still so broken, I hadn't showered in a week -- I showered for you that day -- I hadn't showered in a week, I was in my robe and that's basically what I lived in and it was that first step forward and I think that's what we all have to do."
Tanya said she completely signed off on E! airing the footage from Alan's reading because she hopes it'll help fans "have closure." She also added her own reading with Tyler which helped her deal with personal grief.
"I think that it was important for his fans to have closure. They reached out to me, I said of course I would love Tyler Henry to come over and see if he can connect with my husband and hear whatever message Alan might have for me," she said. "[Tyler] has an amazing way of making you feel like it's going to be alright. It's good to know and it gives you such peace in your heart when you have validation from Tyler, they're not gone, they're still with you. For me, that was important for his fans to see."
During one particularly tough moment to watch back, Henry relayed a message from "a man who was stubborn who passed away and acknowledges dying as a result of his heart problem." The man apparently warned Alan, "Don't be stubborn like I was ... don't let you be me, be proactive in your health and do what I didn't." That message is something Tanya hopes viewers also take into consideration themselves.
"We have to also love ourselves and love our bodies and take care of our vessel and I think that's another important message," she said. "Not that what happened to my husband could have been prevented, I wish it could have, there's just certain things in life that takes us and when its our time it's our time and I think we also have to accept that, but we there's certain times you can prevent it and not inflict it upon yourself."
Tanya confirmed that the two did have conversations about his heart following the reading, but there didn't appear to be anything wrong.
"We did talk about it because we were planning on having a baby together, so my husband had to go in for a full physical and he had the cleanest health bill," she explained, getting choked up as she spoke. "Who would have thought? That's what makes it so crazy, you see him with Tyler, he looks so good, he looks so healthy. This was a man who told me 40 minutes before the ambulance picked him up that he wanted to come home and have chicken with extra gravy, watch lots of TV and how about a little sex and my last word to him was 'Deal, I love you, I'll see you tonight.'"
He died at the age of 69 that day, after playing ice hockey with his son.
"I just really want the fans to see that Alan lived a good life and Alan was a happy man and I think it's important for his fans to know he would have loved and he did see and he loved all their prayers and all their well wishes and to let them all know he was there," she added.
It's that feeling that he's still with her that Tanya said was the most rewarding and "comforting" part of her experience with Henry.
"It was about giving me hope because when I said that I didn't think I'd see the sunshine again, that was the first thing I said when my husband died, the sun will never shine for me again," she said. "You feel like you're this dead vessel existing and that's kind of where I was when Tyler came over."
"My advice [to anyone grieving] is to have faith and believe that your loved one is always connected in there," she added. "That's what tyler has proven. What tyler does and proves is our energies are always there, we're all connected, we're all intertwined and we're not here alone."
Alan Thicke's episode of "Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry" airs Wednesday, May 31 at 8 PM ET/PT on E!.