The Personal Reason Dorinda Medley Was 'Horrified' 'RHONY' Co-Star Ramona Singer Trashed Her Berkshires Home (Exclusive)
'Real Housewives of New York' Season 9 Cast

"Real Housewives of New York" star Dorinda Medley may have been composed after co-star Ramona Singer drunkenly trashed a room at her Berkshires home, but that doesn't mean she wasn't deeply hurt.

"I didn’t know what was going on with Ramona. I couldn’t get what the message was. I was horrified with her ripping out the alarm and ripping off the paint, but it was more like what’re you doing? This is my home," Dorinda told TooFab about the escapade.

Dorinda's home in The Berkshires was one she shared with her late husband, Richard Medley, who died in 2011. It was about the sentiment – or lack thereof – behind Ramona's drunk actions and not so much the physical damage that really triggered Dorinda.

"Here’s the thing about The Berkshires – it’s not just my home, it really is my legacy," she told TooFab. "It’s really something that, you know, if Richard had lived, it would really be my home full time. We really built that place to retire there and spend most of our time there. I put all of my hopes and dreams into that place, and now that Richard is no longer with us, I cherish the place. I mean, I treat it with the utmost respect, like I would anyone else’s house."

"I think the thing that was most hurtful is she just ignored it. She acted like it was no big deal. That’s what hurt me," she continued. "To ignore it and not acknowledge it and demean it and treat it like I’m making a big deal of it, that’s what hurt."

On her decision to let cameras follow her and her daughter Hannah to Richard's grave site on the anniversary of his death, Dorinda told TooFab, "Five years is a very big turning point for you. It felt like – not only for me, but for Hannah – we kinda were like wow, we really do have our new lives back. It’s part of who I am, and if I didn’t show the audience that, they wouldn’t know what I was going through in my life, and I really try to keep it very real, very consistent. And all these things are therapeutic for me. Like I felt very positive, to tell you the truth, and I felt incredibly proud of Hannah."

Dorinda also said that the impact her story has had on viewers is the biggest reward she's received from being on "RHONY."

"One of the greatest things that’s come out of doing this show is the amount of women, men, people that have said, ‘I’ve lost this one’ or ‘I’ve had issues’ or ‘My husband left me.’ You can mourn it, but you can move on. Change is sometimes such a struggle, but if you just keep it moving, and say ‘I gotta move on,’ it’s OK. That’s been a great gift that I’ve gotten out of the show," she said.

"One woman said to me on my Instagram the other day, ‘You make me not feel guilty about being happy even though I lost my husband.’ That’s the thing – you can still cry every once in a while, but if Richard was alive, he wouldn’t want me to be unhappy," she continued. "I mean, if I could talk to Richard, you think he’d want me to be unhappy? People forget that. There’s a lot of guilt associated with people dying in your life. There’s no great reward for continuing to be sad. You don’t have to die because they died."

Earlier this season, Dorinda lashed out at Sonja Morgan at Ramona's dinner party. What sparked the rage was Dorinda's belief that Sonja had been talking about her behind her back to the press.

"Here’s the thing: If you wanna say something, say it to my face," Dorinda said. "If you can’t say it to my face then you’re just gossiping. I just don’t talk behind people’s backs. And the reason why she did it is because none of it was true – it was for attention getting. So if she wants to do that, I’m gonna set the record straight. And I think everybody backed me on it, pretty much."

"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Wednesdays on Bravo.

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