Stephen Colbert went in on Attorney General Jeff Sessions for meeting with Alliance Defending Freedom behind closed doors earlier this week.
"A closed-door speech? Come on, guys. It's 2017 -- it's OK to come out!" Colbert joked Friday night on "The Late Show." "Let your hate flag fly! You're here, you fear, we're used to it."
Alliance Defending Freedom is the same firm that defended the Denver bakery that refused to make a same-sex wedding cake for its gay customers. The firm has also written legislation aimed at keeping transgender people from using certain public restrooms and has a firm stance against gay marriage. Colbert cagtegorized it as an "anti-LGBT hate group" in his monologue.
At the time of the show's taping, Session's speech to the group had not been made public, so Colbert sketched out what he thought the AG might have said.
With the help from a Keebler elf cookie, the comedian began: "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman. I am positively flabbergasted by the amount of homosexualizing I seen in our country these dog days. We must return our culture to what God intended -- men marrying women, having marital relations just for reproduction -- lights off, socks on, finishing with a firm handshake."
"Then when this heightened moral state is finally achieved," Colbert continued, "I'm gonna take away their medical pot!"