Tiffany Haddish had a blast while accepting her first major award for her breakout role in "Girls Trip."
The 38-year-old actress made a nearly 18-minute speech at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards at Tao Downtown Wednesday night. With a "Tiffnicity-tini" in her hand, went into detail about an improv'd scene that didn't make it into the comedy and avoiding critic reviews at all costs.
Many moviegoers, including Haddish's co-star Jada Pinkett Smith, criticized the Hollywood Foreign Press for snubbing the comedian in the Best Supporting Actress category at this year's Golden Globes, but Haddish wasn't going to let that get her down on a fun night with the critics.
Read her five funniest quotes from her speech or just watch the entire thing below.
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How She Found Out About 'Girls Trip'
"All these crew members from Keanu: let me tell y'all, that's how I found out about the movie. So I did Keanu, and all the crew members -- it was like eight of them -- sent me the script for 'Girls Trip.' We shot that in New Orleans. They sent me the script, and they say, girl this is you. This is you last summer. You need to be in this movie, you need to audition for it. I tried to get an audition, and my agent is like, 'Oh they only want to see names.' And I said, 'You tell them I've had a name since 1979, and it's Tiffany motherf-cking Haddish. You get me in there.' And they finally got me in there, and I did a pre-read, and another read, and another read and finally I got to do Skype audition for Malcolm, which I thought was crazy as hell because I'm used to Skype sex. So I didn't know, it worked out good. I didn't take my shirt off. Nothing inappropriate happened, so good job."
Her Best Improv Moment Didn't Make Cut in 'Girls Trip'
"I said a lot of things, and some things didn't make it to the movie and that hurt my feelings. And a lot of things made it to the movie that I didn't think would ever make it to the movie, but can I share one scene with y'all that I really wanted to make it to the movie, but Universal said that they was afraid that women would actually do this shit? So they didn't put it in there, because they didn't want to get sued. Can I share that with y'all? And I'm going to put this in my special, and I don't care if somebody try to sue me, because they shouldn't have been a cheating ass mother. So there's a scene where I tell Regina [Hall] all the things I would do for her, that I got her back, no matter what. I'm like, 'No matter what, I got your back. I'm talking Timberland boots, hot bricks, I don't care. We're going to give him some Ambien, night night. And then, when he sleep, we're going to burn your name into his dick. And then we're going to put mud and salt on it so it can keloid over, and then it will be ribbed for your pleasure. And then when he wake up, we'll look him dead in his eyes, and we'll tell him right to his face to keep your name out these bitches' mouths.'"
"The thing I hate the most is people that come up to me and I can smell fear on them. It makes me want to f-ck them up. I hate fear. I know fear is fuel for other things; fear will help you move toward something great, but don't be trying to put that shit on me. Come up to me happy, come up to me with a smile, find your joyful self if you're talking to me. If you come up to me scared, it's going to make me talk to you crazy. Think of me as a wild dog, because I'm confident. I smile. Come up confident and look me dead in my eyes, I'm going to be cool with you. Come up scared and acting like a bitch, it's how you're going to get treated. That might be too much information, but I don't care. If this was a black party, everybody would be laughing. I'm teaching y'all something today."
"I don't read reviews. I don't. Like the most reviews you'll see me read is when my publicist sends it to me and says read this and I tell her you read it because if it hurts my feelings I'm gonna cuss their ass out in my sleep and then I'm gonna pray for them out loud because I'm super sensitive. I don't mean to be so sensitive, but that's just who I am and I'm not afraid to admit it."
"I'm thankful for the critics. I'm learning a lot about you guys. The only critics I knew before this were Siskel and Ebert, and when they passed I was like, 'Oh well.'"