"There isn't even a trophy," Stephen Colbert complained in his monologue. "You can't just make a list and call it awards.
It was nicely numbered, in proper numeric order and everything, but where was the glitz and glamour of most big awards shows? If this comes back in 2019, the president really needs to up his game. And if Colbert, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel want to be nominated, they need to up theirs as well. Below is their take on the, uh... event?
"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"
The NBC star had a theory as to why so many people were struggling to get the page loaded, instead facing an inspiring "404 Error" page featuring a picture of Trump giving a big smile and thumbs up (because "404 Error" always means everything's okay).
Slipping into a Russian accent, Fallon said, "His IT was like, 'Sorry, my trolls can only build so fast. I will get back to working on this.'"
Fallon proclaimed the big winners of the event, but also offered a counter argument. "Trump named the New York Times, ABC News and CNN as the top three reporters of fake news," he said. "And his top three reporters of real news were Fox News, his Magic 8 Ball, and Snapple caps."
"Last night, on the verge of a government shutdown, with funding running out on healthcare for 9 million children, going toe to toe with a madman with thermonuclear arsenals, Donald Trump stayed laser-focused by announcing the winner of his Fake News Awards!" the CBS star trumpeted at the top of his monologue.
The presentation left a lot to be desired for Colbert, though. "Like everything with Donald Trump, this awards ceremony was over-hyped and underwhelming," he joked.
But the real problem was that this wasn't a proper awards show event. "There isn't even a trophy," Colbert lamented. "You can't just make a list and call it awards. 'Honey, we're out of milk, I guess I'll just add that to the Grocery Awards.'"
It could just be sour grapes (add those to the list, too), as Colbert was snubbed, despite the real billboard he put in Times Square.
"For awhile it looked like the Fake News Awards themselves might be fake news," Kimmel said of that pervasive error screen on the website. But then they went up, and while Kimmel was also snubbed, the president did "honor" his network. And so, Kimmel decided to return the favor.
"On behalf of the media, I think it's only fair that we extend the same honor to him," he said. "So tonight, I am pleased to present The 1st Annual Dishonest & Corrupt President Awards."
Kimmel offered awards in four categories including Best Fabricated Numbers, Least Convincing Display of Love, and Best Self-Proclaimed Bestness. But the big award of the night was Outstanding Achievement in Obama Fan Fiction, which went to Trump's claim that Obama was the founder of ISIS.
Unfortunately, Donald Trump wasn't on hand to accept any of these awards. 404 Error: President Not Found.