As one storm slammed New York Wednesday, another was blowing through the White House, and late-night comedians had a lot of fun with the parallels. Stormy Daniels is back in the news after filing a lawsuit on Wednesday alleging that the non-disclosure agreement keeping her from discussing her alleged affair with Donald Trump is invalid because he never signed.
That's a question for the legal experts, though, as Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen did sign the document and fork over $130,000 in supposed hush money. The comedy experts in late-night were able to agree on one thing, though, this was a storm they all wanted to cover, rather than take cover from.
The lawsuit, which is a matter of public record, alludes to possible pictures and text messages exchanged between Daniels and Trump, which didn't sit well with James Corden's stomach. And while Seth Meyers spent an inordinate amount of time talking about presidential "dick pics," Stephen Colbert said that CBS wouldn't even allow him to say that phrase. Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon poked fun at presidential alter ego David Dennison, while Trevor Noah marveled that he'd forget to put his name on anything.
"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
Broadcasting from New York City, the CBS star sent a message of support to the city as it braced for a big nor'easter. "Stay safe out there, especially President Trump, because there's a whole other Storm that's headed his way," Colbert said, before getting into the details of the lawsuit.
"The woman in question here again is porn star, and I'm gonna guess future Chief of Staff, Stormy Daniels," he joked. "She's proven she can handle the staff." Like the rest of America, Colbert couldn't believe that Trump never signed the NDA. "This is the thing Trump thought was too sketchy to put his name on?" He wondered. "What about Trump University? Or Don, Jr.?"
As for the alleged "still images" the suit discusses? "CBS will not permit me to say the colloquial term, so let's just call them penis portraits," Colbert said. "We may not have to wait for Stormy Daniels. I'm pretty sure Don Jr.'s just gonna tweet them out. 'Way to go, dad's penis! I came out of that!'"
Meyers cracked a few jokes about the lawsuit during his monologue, but saved a deeper discussion for his "A Closer Look" segment. There he marveled that Trump would actually forget to sign a legal document. "The businessman president didn't even remember that when you make a deal you have to sign it," he marveled, "which is surprising considering how much he loves showing off his signature. In fact, I'm surprised Trump didn't hold a signing ceremony in the Oval Office for this."
He then took notice of the portion in the document referring to "certain still images," saying, "So we're looking at the very real possibility that Donald Trump sent Stormy Daniels a dick pic."
And then, primarily because his audience didn't want him to do it, Meyers went all in on discussing the presidential penis. "It would look like a Flamin' Hot Cheetoh sitting on a brillo pad," he said. When his audience groaned, he shut them down. "No! I think we should spend more time on this!"
"Jimmy Kimmel Live"
This year's Oscars host had a lot of fun with Trump's alter ego in the suit, which lists him as "Donald Trump aka David Dennison." Kimmel said, "David Dennison sounds like the guy who tries to unload his Hall & Oates tickets on the day of the show."
Kimmel was less surprised the president would forget to sign the document as he had two further examples of Trump walking away from bills before signing them caught on camera. "It's interesting, he remembers to put his name on everything else --water, vodka, steaks, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump -- but he has a problem with bills. He doesn't sign them or pay them." Trump's lawyer has allegedly complained he was never reimbursed for the $130,000 he paid Daniels.
Corden wondered if Trump forgetting to sign the NDA was indicative of a larger situation. "This is amazing, mostly because it's the first time Trump has ever not put his name on something. But it does raise the question, how many porn star hush agreements does Trump have that he actually forgot to sign one?"
He went on to add, "The hush agreement infers that Stormy Daniels may have confidential photos of Donald Trump... which sounds like a threat. Not to him, to the rest of us."
"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"
The NBC star had a similar response to the idea of more lurid details, and possibly pictures, coming out about an affair between Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels. In fact, he felt okay to speak for all of us, saying, "America was like, 'Great, just not while we're eating.'"
He got a kick out of Trump's David Dennison fake name as well. "Trump is denying [the affair] and referred all questions to his spokesman Dennis Dennison," he joked.
The Comedy Central host marveled at Trump failing to sign, as well. "How incompetent are you if you didn't sign your own NDA?" Noah asked. "The same guy who slaps his name on everything: buildings, vodka, the least sexy Twilight vampire." At this point he slapped up a picture of Don, Jr.
"You know what would be amazing," Noah said, slipping into pure fantasy. "If Melania ends up divorcing Trump over this porn star thing and then she somehow wins the White House in the divorce. But he's still president, so now he's running the government out of a room at the Motel 6, like he's leaning over the sink eating ramen noodles going, 'No chaos, great energy!'"