What in the ‘Westworld’ Happened Last Night? 6 Big Questions and Crazy Theories on Our Mind After Episode 2

What's that? You didn't watch it? Well, this post is only for you if you promise not to be upset with us for all the spoilers. It's definitely not for you if you're haven't seen it and are also a whiny baby who can't stay on schedule with television show. Don't be a whiny baby! Watch the show before reading, or brace yourself. Either way, we're glad you're here.

Guess what! It's not 100 percent confirmed, but we're feeling pretty vindicated for one of our guesses last week after the premiere. No, it wasn't one of our major theories, but a snippet buried inside one of our looming questions is proving to be right on the nose.

Which one was it? Read on to find out!

Oh, and duh: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Let's just get this one out of the way -- last week, we said this:

"What we have now is Bernard immediately after the party massacre, and then Bernard sometime in the future where he's found on the beach by the Delos security crew (and, some international muscle it seems — is this a clue as to where Westworld and all of the parks are actually located on Earth?)."

In bold, that's us musing that the military squabble seen on the beach in the premiere was a hint to the park's physical location on Earth. In Episode 2, we got a glimpse at IRL Bernard's (AKA Arnold's, AKA Jeffrey Wright) future home being built in what appears to be China, where he tells Dolores that he needed both parts of his life -- his family and his work -- to be together, and that he was officially relocating them.

We think this is a win for us, unless we're completely wrong (and who knows at this point?).

Though, China is, for real, building artificial islands off the coast.

One of the more exciting moments during a dialogue-heavy (some might call this "boring" but we call it "just fine, quit complaining, world-building is important") episode was the reveal buried in the storyline for William —- the Man in Black (Ed Harris) —- as he and his recently rescued partner rode into a town that had been thoroughly slaughtered.

That reveal was Giancarlo Esposito ("Breaking Bad's" greatest villain) playing a revolutionary. At the end of a tense back and forth, Giancarlo had all of his men kill themselves so William would have to play his game alone (but, what about his partner?). He then killed himself as well.

Our theory is this: You don't hire Giancarlo Esposito for a cameo. We saw plenty of times where Dolores brought back "dead" hosts to recruit and prove points, so why not one of the greatest villain actors TV has ever seen?

It seems as though when a host is shown what's behind the curtain, specifically a history that involves themselves, they start to progress towards sentience. At least, what we call Sentience Lite. Like when Teddy is shown a messed up slide show of his own corpse from last season.

Here's the thing, though —- is sentience really a sliding scale, or is it black and white? Because if it's a scale, we would chart three important robots we saw in this episode like this:

1. Maeve

2. Dolores

2. Teddy

But if it's a binary situation (puns!), we would say that the only truly sentient one of the bunch is Maeve. She seems like above and beyond everyone else, even going as far as messing with her own code and the code of others.

Who is to say that Dolores (Evan Rachel Wood) isn't just on yet another programmed path, regardless of the "real" stakes, and that Maeve isn't the one controlling the shots? We've seen Maeve puppeteer other hosts, so why not Dolores too?

Dolores is heading towards a goal, and that goal is starting to get clearer. She isn't just on a rampage of synthetic revenge: she's seeking a specific weapon.

During the flashbacks, we see young William showing Dolores quite the view: giant canyon-creating Earth-rippers. Is Dolores going to use one, or all, of these to lay waste to the filthy humans and their sins? Or is she referring to some other "weapon" that William eventually shows her after taking in that view?

And —- how about this -— is the current Man in Black after the same weapon so he can burn the park to the ground? Should we take that literally or figuratively?

Folks, we might be in a footrace to doomsday. Or at least a treasure trove of blackmail information based on all the guests: their actions, wants/desires, their hookups, their DNA (gross), how often they took the time to bathe in Westworld (double gross) -— you name it.

First off, we're just gonna say that nobody has either confirmed or denied the outlandish theory that the park is a tiny, shrunken place and that all the guests are miniaturized to go inside. This has nothing to do with that theory, we just want to point out that it's still viable.

We also think we're on the right track as far as the DNA/blackmail/clone theory goes too.

But here's one that hit us right in the face during Episode 2: What if the goal, if not for Delores, but maybe Robert or William, was to find immortality in being able to upload themselves into a host? What brought this on for us tonight was William's father-in-law hacking his way through his retirement party, clearly dying. Something felt off -— almost as if he pushing William towards something. Maybe it was to avoid his own death?

And remember: Ford said last season that their world was one where all diseases had been cured. Maybe the only thing left to cure is death? If Ford wanted to cure death, and Arnold instead wanted to create life (maybe to either bring back his son, Charlie, from scratch, or if that failed to still have the option of dying for a reunion in the afterlife), that could have caused quite a rift.

If humans can't be uploaded into host bodies yet (though, maybe that's William's greatest regret, which he mentions), can those Mangosteen Brains be swapped between bodies?

If they can, holy crap! Nothing, and nobody, might be what they seem. Bernard seemed mighty odd when he woke up on the beach, we're just sayin'... that long look at Teddy's floating body felt like it was trying to tell us something...

... and we'll also say that you should come back next week for more mind-bending, Earth-shattering, probably completely wrong theories on "Westworld" here at TooFab!

P.S. That Kanye piano cover was legit, right?