Luann de Lesseps Calls Sobriety 'Exhausting' and Says This 'RHONY' Blowout Was 'Hard to Watch'
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The Bravo reality star tells TooFab alcoholism is "never as black and white as people think it is."

Just because Luann de Lesseps went to rehab, doesn't mean she's an alcoholic.

In fact, the "Real Housewives of New York" star was reluctant to use that word when she spoke with Dr. Oz on Wednesday about her December 2017 arrest for disorderly intoxication and battery on an officer.

"It's never as black and white as people think it is," Luann told TooFab Thursday morning. "Like I said on the show, I don't know if I'm an alcoholic; all I know is I'm not drinking for today. I live day by day, and I think anybody that has issues with alcohol would say the same. We live day by day. I can't say, 'I'll never get married again,' or 'I'll never drink again.' I can't answer that because I don't know that. But at this moment of my life, alcohol doesn't serve me, and that's what I'm going with."

Following her Palm Beach arrest -- which happened almost exactly a year after she wed now-ex-husband Tom D'Agostino in the Florida destination -- Luann spent some time in rehab.

"Going to rehab really helped me to transition back to the show where I was OK with not drinking," she told TooFab. "Until you take a step back and you go somewhere like rehab and you come back into your own self without alcohol and feeling your emotions instead of drowning them, it really changes your perspective. And you go, 'Oh, wow! I can actually enjoy myself without drinking.'"

Luann told TooFab she was sober for the "RHONY" cast trip and that is was a big relief to learn she could have fun without alcohol.

"I can have a good time without drinking," she said. "Even Bethenny [Frankel] was like, 'Oh, wow! This is great! You're not drinking, but you're funnier!' So I actually had a really good time on the cast trip."

Wednesday's episode of "RHONY" actually hit close to home for Luann as she watched Dorinda Medley have a drunken meltdown in front of Bethenny and her Puerto Rico relief partners.

"It was difficult to watch because Bethenny brought her thinking that she would be helpful, and I don't think she thought at all that she would not be respectful to her partners," Luann said. "It was pretty hard to watch Dorinda having drank too much and not handle the situation appropriately."

Regarding Bethenny calling Dorinda "a drunk," Luann said, "That's Bethenny's conclusion and not mine. I wasn't there."

So far, Season 10 for Luann has been Tom free, but it hasn't necessarily been completely drama free.

"My marriage blew up, so I'm dealing with my own drama, and I think that the girls recognize that," Luann said of her storyline this season. "They have [been supportive]. They really felt bad for me. In hindsight, they tried to warn me, but I think people have to make their own mistakes. Aside from that scene where Bethenny was like, 'I kinda told you so,' and I was like, 'You were right,' they all felt bad for me and were supportive."

Luann is now sober and "so happy," which she says has come with an unexpected side effect.

"It's exhausting not drinking because you wake up early and you're doing more," Luann said. "I have my cabaret show and I go to yoga -- by the time 9 o'clock rolls around, I'm wiped out! That used to be when I was getting my first drink -- 9 o'clock -- or my second. I've done more in the last 3 months than I've done in the last 3 years."

Luann said her sold-out, New York-based cabaret show -- #CountessAndFriends -- has actually been her "saving grace."

"I really found my calling doing [cabaret] because it's everything that I love," she said. "It's been wonderful to have so much support and to have the fans really love the show."

"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

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