First, DeGeneres put Bullock on the spot for "stealing" her life, after the host had previously explained on her show how Sandra's roles in "Miss Congeniality" and "Speed" were both written with her in mind.
"Do you ever thank me for your career?" she asked, to which her guest replied, "Yes, I do everyday, at grace at dinner I thank you, my children thank you, because we have a good life. You gave us your career and we're grateful."
"Can I tell you what happened with 'Congeniality'? The writer saw you, I think you were hosting something, The Emmys and you were doing an interview about wearing a dress and you just didn't like it," Bullock explained. "Maybe he lied to me, maybe he did write it for you and you turned it down."
Ellen clarified the movie was "never offered" to her. "I found out later, he was like, you inspired me ... he said, 'I thought it did get offered to you,'" DeGeneres continued.
Bullock also talked about the relationship between her two children, daughter Laila, 5œ, and 8-year-old son Louis. "He wanted his sister and he knew she was his sister, but now there are moments when they want to kill each other," said Bullock. "He more him than him her. But I like that about her. I like that she'll take a knife and cut a guy. She will be the one to steal the car. But I think by that time, we'll have drones and the chips in the heads will be legal, we'll just turn her right around with the iPad."
The conversation then got a little NSFW when they began discussing the insane beauty routine Bullock swears by.
"Well, you push in whatever the facialist would like to push into your pores," Bullock explained, before DeGeneres pressed on what her facialist uses. "It is an extraction from a piece of skin that came from a young person, um, far far away."
"It's foreskin from a Korean baby! That's what it is. Who comes up with this?!" Ellen exclaimed.
"It's not like I'm lying there with little pieces all over my face," Bullock replied. "Why didn't we come up with that? I call it the penis facial and I think when you see how good it is to your face, you too will run to your local facialist and say, 'Give me the penis!', 'Give me the penis,' that's what you're gonna say."
"I'm never going to say that," DeGeneres deadpanned. "I don't even understand why that is a thing that you'd put into your skin. You know what's going to happen, penises are going to start out of your [face]. You're goin to have little tiny ... that's what karma is going to do, you're going to have little tiny Korean ..." she joked, trailing off.
"So be it," Bullock laughed. "It was worth it. I'm going straight to hell."
The duo ended the visit with a very revealing round of Ellen's Burning Questions. Here's just a sampling of what we learned:
The most rebellious thing Bullock did as a teenager: "Got drunk in a marathon dance and wound up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped."
Her useless talent: "Tying a cherry stem with my tongue. It could be useful."
Her first celebrity crush: "I would have to say probably Keanu Reeves."
Her favorite curse word: "F-ck me!"
Has she ever seen George Clooney naked? "No. I haven't!"
The weirdest thing she's done for money: "I used to open up for drag queens in North Carolina by dancing."