"Here's what happened," he continued. "Ellen had a little accident. She tripped and fell and was under the weight of her own wallet," adding that he assumed that she was probably at Home Depot, because that's "where all the lesbians go."
While DeGeneres was MIA, the "Will & Grace" star was more than happy to slip into her dancing shoes, kicking off the episode with a totally choreographed dance number to Meghan Trainor's hit "No Excuses." The Broadway star was exhausted by the time he got to Ellen's chair and was given an oxygen mask to help him out. Check out the opening dance number below.
Hayes was tasked with interviewing three guests during Ellen's absence; "Six" star Olivia Munn, "Arrested Development's" Tony Hale, and a very talented six-year-old.
The actor more than held his own on the show -- below are the highlights from his Ellen takeover!
Olivia Munn's Tale
Was there anyone who wasn't at Ellen's star-studded 60th birthday? It seems like everyone who comes on her show has a story from the epic bash!
"Melissa McCarthy challenged Jennifer Lopez to a dance off," she said. "And Melissa won. She was amazing," she said, adding that McCarthy was "gyrating" and is able to do the splits.
The actress also talked about how comedian Tig Notaro wanted to sing Adele's song "Hello," but Ellen said she couldn't because Adele was there. Eventually, Notaro got her approval (with some help from Pink) belted it out before Ellen pulled her off the stage.
The "Veep" star stopped by the show as well to talk about his daughter's weird obsessions with prisons. Yes, you read that correctly.
"Some kids like Taylor Swift, mine likes prisons," Hale explained. "She just loves it," he added, saying the family recently took a trip to Alcatraz in San Francisco to appease her interest in police and incarceration.
Hayes also asked the actor how his co-star Julie-Louis Dreyfus is doing, after announcing her breast cancer diagnosis last year.
"She's doing great," he said. "She's getting stronger and stronger and we're shooting the new season this summer."
Too cute, or not too cute, that is the question. Hayes' third guest was a six-year-old girl named Zoey Cardamone, a "kid Shakespeare expert." The pint-sized theater pro has been reciting Shakespeare's monologues since she was 2, citing "Macbeth" as one of her favorite plays.
"You're not supposed to say 'Macbeth' in a theater right?" Hayes said, as Cardamone nodded. "So what do you do if that happens?" he asked. "Turn around three times and spit over your left shoulder," she said, before demonstrating.
To prove she's the real deal, she then performed a monologue for the studio audience. We're all impressed!