Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un held their historic summit meeting Monday night in Singapore, but the late-night comedians were still stuck on Trump saying he'd use his "touch" and "feel" to read Kim's intentions.
The president made the comment before leaving the G7 meeting in Canada to make the trip to Singapore. When asked how long it might take him to determine if Kim was sincere in their meeting, Trump said about a minute. Asked how, he replied, "Just my touch, my feel. That's what I do."
It was enough to send cringe-waves across the networks last night as the late-night hosts reacted to his choice of phrase. Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers and James Corden all had to tape their shows before the summit took place, and while they were hopeful for a positive outcome, Meyers still acknowledged the possibility that it could have all gone wrong.
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
"If you're watching this on TV right now, either it went well or you have a TV in your fallout shelter," Seth Meyers said, adding that he really appreciated viewers tuning in during an apocalyptic disaster.
One piece of news that stood out was the reports that Kim Jong-un brought his own toilet to the summit in Singapore so intelligence agencies couldn't get intel on his health through his stool. "Said intelligenace agencies, 'We're just gonna go ahead and guess bad, then?'" Meyers joked.
"Kim Jong-un will literally not give a crap," Stephen Colbert said, reacting to the same news.
He also slipped in a callback to the infamous "Access Hollywood" tape where Trump was heard saying, "When you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything ... Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."
It was while cringing through listening to Trump tell reporters that he would gauge Kim's sincerity by using, "Just my touch, my feel. That's what I do."
"Oh we know that's what you do," Colbert joked. "When you're a star, they let you do it."
Stephen Colbert also took note of the significance of the meeting, saying, "It as an historic evening because as we speak President Trump is meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, a scenario that just a few years ago would have been unthinkable because it includes the phrase 'President Trump.'"
After fumbling through the math on the time differential from Singapore to the United States, Colbert came to an unlikely conclusion. "They're actually meeting in the future which finally explains both their haircuts," he said. "I don't know what technology is involved there, but it's not human."
Jimmy Fallon had a different take on Trump's touchy-feely approach to the meeting. After playing the same clip, he followed it up with, "When he heard that, Kim Jong-un was like, 'Let's do this meeting somewhere in public.'"
"There's a lot riding on this meeting," Fallon said of the summit. "Last night, Kim spent hours preparing, while at the same time Trump was laying in bed waiting for Spongebob to perform on the Tonys."
"The Late Late Show with James Corden"
James Corden imagined a different process for the president. "Trump spent the day preparing for the summit which basically means writing on his hands 'South Korea good,' 'North Korea bad,' just so he doesn't get confused," he told his audience.
After looking at that same "touch" and "feel" clip, Corden questioned the idea of it. "The last time Trump used his touch and feel method he had to pay Stormy Daniels $130,000," he noted.
"It might work," he ultimately conceded. "After three minutes of being touched and felt by Trump, Kim Jong-un is just going to go, 'Fine, fine, take the nukes. Whatever you want. Just stop touching me!'"
"For whatever reason, Donald Trump seems determined to become friends with our enemies and enemies with our friends," Jimmy Kimmel noted in his monologue, for which video has not been made available.
He noted that the closed-door meeting between Trump and Kim would just be the two men and their translators. "Trump said he hopes that he and Kim Jong Un like each other." After noting Kim's brutal dictatorship, Kimmel concluded, "They're definitely going to like each other.
"They might even fall in love," he added. "My hope is that the summit ends with Trump giving Kim Jong Un a rose and Kim Jong Un eating it."