"These people are anti-abortion, which means they're anti-woman," says the Netflix late-night comedian.
Michelle Wolf's weekly Netflix show may only be two months old, but the provocative comedian still celebrated "The Break's 10th Annual Salute to Abortion" on Sunday.
The topic came up after the comedian talked about Justice Anthony Kenney's retirement from the Supreme Court. That's because Wolf and many other liberal-minded people believe Donald Trump's replacement nominee, which he will announce in a live televised event tonight, could work to overturn the landmark case Roe v Wade, which legalized abortion.
As the Supreme Court faces the possibilty of swinging even more deeply to the right, Wolf is dismayed that Trump could be the guy responsible for ending legal abortions in America. "That dude has been responsible for more abortions than the invention of back alley," she joked.
The comedian then took a moment to let her audience know how the sausage was made, revealing that the joke could have been even darker. "We were originally gonna use coat hanger," she said. "And before that, stairs."
Wolf described the "pro-life" movement as a successful propaganda campaign, which has made facilities that offer abortions afraid to even advertise that fact. "If these people were actually pro-life, they would be fighting hard for healthcare, childcare, education, gun control, and protecting the environment," she said. "Get the terminology straight. These people are anti-abortion, which means they're anti-woman."
Taking her examination to the next logical conclusion, Wolf sees it as more of a man versus woman issue. "If women embrace the fact that they control life, that makes it a lot harder for men to control women," she explained. "Of course men are uncomfortable with that. They won't even let us control a little bit of 'Star Wars.'"
She did take a moment to address the concerned men directly, saying, "Men, I'm sorry. I'm sure this brings up a lot of feelings and thoughts and points you want to make and I just want you to know that's all very irrelevant."
As far as she's concerned, this isn't about men, so they don't get to chime in. "Abortions are a woman's right," she said. "I know acknowledging that is hard for some of you, because that would mean you would also have to acknowledge that women are naturally equipped to do the most powerful thing in the world: give life. While you guys are naturally equipped to do what? Lift suitcases into the overhead compartment?"
And so she offered up a star-spangled salute to abortions, dubbing it her 10th annual event in her seventh-ever episode. ""Women if you need an abortion, get one!" she shouted in a red-white-and-blue leotard with a marching band behind her. "Women, if you want an abortion, get one! If you're not pregnant but think you eventually might be and want to order a future abortion, get one! If you're pregnant and you want to be pregnant, don't get one. It's up to you."
"The Break" releases new episodes every Sunday on Netflix.