President Donald Trump announced Brett Kavanaugh as his nominee for the vacant Supreme Court justice seat on Monday night, and the late-night comedians on the air Tuesday didn't miss their chance to make fun of it.
He added, "Trump said Kavanaugh is 'one of the finest and sharpest legal minds of our time.' And that's coming from the guy who told Michael Cohen to just write 'porn star bribe' on the memo line of his check."
While addressing reports that retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy actually worked out a deal with Trump to pick Kavanaugh, Kimmel expressed skepticism that the president was even capable of coming to such an agreement.
"Let's be honest. A secret deal requires two things Donald Trump is not capable of: keeping a secret and making a deal," he joked.
See what Colbert and Jefferies had to say below.
'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert'
Colbert also made a race joke.
"The real winner was Federal Appeals Court Judge and cover model for Generic Dads Monthly, Brett Kavanaugh, which means I have Trump nomination bingo," the CBS star said. "See, it's all squares that say 'White Guy.'"
And he wasn't entirely sure Trump even meant to nominate Kavanaugh. "His full name is Brett Michael Kavanaugh, so it is possible Trump though he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice,' Brett Michaels," he joked.
Then he addressed criticisms of Trump's pick, stemming from Kavanaugh's opinion that a president should be exempt from criminal prosecution and investigation -- which is particularly troubling to many, considering Special Counsel Robert Mueller is neck deep in his mission to determine if there was any collusion between Trump's campaign and Russia.
"Hmmm. So Trump picks the guy who thinks presidents shouldn't be prosecuted. That's like Steph Curry picking the ref and the ref previously ruled Warriors #1," Colbert joked. "He thinks the president should be above the law because his job is hard. In that case, I think moms of three or more kids ought to be able to murder at will."
The Comedy Central host found a way to slip in a jab at "mediocre, average-looking" singer Blake Shelton after explaining to his viewers that are very few qualifications for a Supreme Court justice. In fact, they don't even need to hold a law degree or be born in the United States.
"No qualifications to be a justice? Trump could nominate anyone. He could have Justice Blake Shelton -- a mediocre, average-looking singer, who despite having gout was named Sexiest Man Alive and is dating Gwen Stefani," Jefferies joked. "The living embodiment of the fact that there is no justice in the world could be a justice!"
With Trump nominating Kavanaugh, Jefferies joked that "liberals are so desperate to hang on to Ruth Bader Ginsburg that if she does Democrats may try to pull a 'Weekend at Bernie's.'"
Overall, though, the point of his segment on the subject was that it kind of sucks that Supreme Court justices are appointed for a lifelong term, because he argued old people make bad decisions and tend to be stuck in their old ways, so they typically just vote along party lines.
"It's not like they're going to get better with age. One study suggests that older people ar ebad decision makers because they're closer to death and have less to lose," he explained. "Is that who we want to set legal precedent? A bunch of geezers who are so ready to die they don't give a shit what happens to us."