See how Willis got back at his ex-wife and brutal burns from Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Martha Stewart and more.
A surprise guest at Saturday night's taping, Moore had no problem joining the rest of the roasters, including special guests Edward Norton, Cybill Shepherd, Martha Stewart and roast-master Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in poking fun at the bald action hero.
"I was married to Bruce for the first three 'Die Hard' movies, which makes sense because the last two sucked," she joked at one point in the evening, as reported by Entertainment Weekly.
The actress turned to look at her ex-husband. "I look at our marriage like 'The Sixth Sense,'" she told him. "You were dead the whole time."
"Bruce considered the end of our marriage his biggest failure," Moore went on. "Bruce, don’t be so hard on yourself, you had much bigger failures. 'Planet Hollywood,' 'Hudson Hawk' ... campaigning for Michael Dukakis, turning down Clooney’s role in 'Ocean’s Eleven' to focus on playing the harmonica.”
Gordon-Levitt, who played the same character as Willis complete with prosthetics in "Looper," wasted no time poking fun at his co-star's film legacy. "Bruce can play anyone from an asshole cop to an asshole ex-cop," he joked at the top of the show.
He also described Willis as "what you get if you drain the white part of Dwayne Johnson." That joke landed particularly well with Johnson's "Skyscraper" hitting theaters amid unflattering comparisons to the classic "Die Hard" films.
Martha Stewart has become a staple at these annual roasts, flinging scathing barbs with her down-home sweetness. "Bruce and I live in the same town of Bedford," she said. "He has a beautiful house and the interior design is amazing. He wanted everything inside to look mid-century modern, except his new wife."
After his thirteen-year marriage to Demi Moore, Willis wed Emma Heming in 2009. The English model is 40-years old and born in 1978. Willis, born mid-century in 1955, is 63.
Of course, the best one-liners seem to always come from roast-master supreme Jeffrey Ross, who's been a staple at these shows for years. "Tonight we honor the reason the world has a Vin Diesel," he said, turning to Willis. "F--k you!
"I met Rumer. I guess that’s the name you give when you’re not 100 percent sure who the dad is," he said at another point, before turning his attention to Willis' most famous franchise. "I can’t wait to see your next project, 'Die Hard 6: Natural Causes.'"
Willis got the last laugh, though, and as anyone who's followed his career knows, the one-time breakout star of "Moonlighting" has a wicked sense of humor. He got a quick jab back at Moore when he said, "Joseph [Gordon-Levitt] played a younger me in 'Looper.' He couldn't pull it off. There is one actor who successfully played me. It was Demi Moore."
"The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis airs July 29 at 10 p.m. ET on Comedy Central.