After Underwood, a.k.a the virgin contestant, teared up while talking to host Chris Harrison Monday night, he has now come forward to shed more light on how it felt to have the topic of his virginity be in the public eye. The reality star expressed on Instagram that although these "insecurities" have been "buried for years," he's prepared to take on more "cheap shots" about his sex life if necessary to help others like him feel more "comfortable."
"Behind my smile are layers of insecurities, scars from my past & feelings that have been buried for years," he began in the lengthy caption. "It's easy to show only the good/happy times on social media...I do that. I love shedding light on positive/impactful events in my life, but the truth is I have had struggles."
"For years I hid my feelings, including depression & anxiety," he continued. "You see a portion of my life and a select few scenes that help portray a picture of who I am. I'm here to tell you that I am not perfect and that it's okay to not be okay sometimes."
"If I have to continue to take cheap shots about my virginity -- which is only a small part of who I am -- so that others like me can feel comfortable & relate -- Bring it on!"
The NFL free agent expressed that he "didn't plan" on breaking down or discussing the topic of his virginity. However, after hearing the other guys poking fun at his lack of experience, it "triggered" an "unexpected" response.
"While I didn't plan on breaking down or speaking about my virginity on tonight's episode, it is clearly something that I struggle talking about," he added in the caption. "When I heard the comments made by some of the other guys it triggered a response from me that was unexpected."
"While I respect their opinions, I'm not here to prove a point, say I'm better than anyone else or gain sympathy. It is what it is... my virginity shouldn't have to be defended or used to describe me as a person."
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During the emotional episode, Underwood opened up to Harrison about how difficult it was to broadcast the fact that he's a virgin, not just to Becca Kufrin, but to the entire world.
"How difficult was that to essentially broadcast -- not just talk about, but you knew that you were broadcasting this to not just Becca, but to everybody?" the host asked him.
"I think that's something that for me was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life," Underwood replied."I've gone through a lot with that. It's hard for me to even talk about it right now. But growing up, being an athlete, it's something that I was ashamed of because it was so openly talked about in our community."
"I wasn't true to who I was, and I feel like people think I'm less of a man because of that," he added. "And that's the hardest thing for me to hear."