Fallon dresses up as Trump to declare, "Tax evasion? Not a crime. Bootlegging the new 'Mama Mia' movie? Not a crime. Committing a crime? Not a crime!"
President Donald Trump has been steadily denying allegations of colluding with foreign interests to win the 2016 president election, but this week he unveiled a new strategy which is baffling the late-night comedians who have been steadily making fun of his every word since he took over the White House.
"Collusion is not a crime," Trump tweeted Tuesday morning after his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, hit the cable news talk show circuit spewing the same line.
"I have been sitting here looking in the federal code trying to find collusion as a crime ... Collusion is not a crime," Guiliani said on Fox News Monday.
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers recognized there is truth to that statement -- no law on on the books specifically about "collusion" -- but were particularly confused Tuesday night by the rest of Trump's tweet and the sudden pivot from denying collusion to simply stating there's nothing illegal about working with a hostile foreign power to win an election.
Some might call that treason, but what do we know. We'll let you do a simple Google search to find out all of the laws that are on the books that could be used to hold the president accountable if investigators find any kind of collusion with Russia. We're just hear to LOL with you at some of the best late-night jokes on the subject. Enjoy!
'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert'
"For over a year now his catchphrase as been 'no collusion.' He uses it for every occasion. It's like his aloha. It means both hello and I'm guilty," the CBS star joked during his monologue. "But he and his team have recently rebranded and are using a new phrase that Trump tweeted out this morning."
Collusion is not a crime, but that doesn’t matter because there was No Collusion (except by Crooked Hillary and the Democrats)!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 31, 2018
"Okay, so collusion isn't a crime, but it doesn't matter because he didn't do it anyway, Hillary did," Colbert said while trying to make sense of the tweet he argued is "really going to complicate the chants at his rallies."
"Lock her up! But collusions not a crime! So what are we locking her up for? I am confused! We're living in a web of lies!" Colbert chanted while mocking Trump supporters.
"Trump's completely flipped the script on this collusion thing. What's next?" he asked before launching into his Trump impression: "He's going to go from, 'This is a witch hunt,' to 'Okay, but I'm a good witch like Glinda, the hot one from 'The Wizard of Oz.' I would do her and you're little dog, too.'"
'The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon'
The NBC star dressed up as the president himself to tackle Trump's latest angle on his collusion denials, speaking to the "Tonight Show" audience through the Trump News Network -- "the bigliest and newsliest network in the world."
"This morning I tweeted collusion is not a crime, and it worked," Fallon's Trump said at the start of his faux broadcast. "Apparently, if you say something is not a crime, then it's not a crime. Watch this. Tax evasion? Not a crime. Bootlegging the new 'Mama Mia' movie? Not a crime. Committing a crime? Not a crime!"
In an effort to thwart another scandal, Fallon's Trump broadcast his own secret tape recording of a conversation with former lawyer and confidant Michael Cohen -- except it's clearly just Trump impersonating his former friend.
"Hi, Donald. Yes, it is me, Michael Cohen. You didn't do anything wrong. You are very handsome and very not guilty. Thank you, I'm Michael Cohen."
In other news that is actually not related to Donald Trump, Bigfoot porn has become an issue in a Virginia congressional race.
"This is the first time in years the craziest thing isn't about me," Fallon's Trump marveled, and then recommended Republican candidate Denver Riggleman do what any logical politician would do and pay Bigfoot off with $130,000 in cash.
'Late Night with Seth Meyers'
Meyers briefly touched on the subject during his rundown of the biggest headlines, which of course included Trump's confusing tweet denying collusion, saying it's not a crime, and then trying to incriminate Hillary Clinton and Democrats in collusion.
"Okay, follow this logic with me," Meyers said. "Collusion's not a crime, also I didn't do it, but also Hillary did it and she should be in jail."
"So good news, Rudy Guiliani -- you're no longer the worst lawyer in the world," Meyers joked.