At the top of the episode, Ramona Singer invited some of the ladies to come see her finally-finished house, and Luann de Lesseps was less than impressed. She shaded the remodel during her confessional, then again while speaking to Bethenny Frankel.
"We arrive to Ramona's reveal of all the work that she's been talking about the whole year, and I'm like, 'What? What is this?' She's the 'queen of design,' and it's like, 'Really? You ordered some stuff online,'" Luann told Bravo cams. "Not a flower in the house, not even a Chia Pet! I'm like, what? This is the reveal?"
Luann got even cattier when she chatted with Bethenny about the house, saying, "It's white. Everything is white. The kitchen's white. She's got a slab on her kitchen counter top this thick. It looks like a headstone! It looks like that's where she keeps the dead bodies until she can get them to the backyard to bury them."
"It is freezing cold. You wouldn't wanna spend one night in there," she continued. "No warmth, no charm, no character. You know what? Money can't buy you class."
"Listen, I'm not a shrink, but you've been in abusive relationships," Carole said. "It feels like you're go-to in an abusive relationship is 'Everything's OK! Everything's OK! Everything's OK!' And I just feel like in this situation with this group with the boat, it was a very abusive-relationship reaction: 'Everything's OK! Everything's OK!'"
Tinsley burst into tears. "Carole, I'm taking this all really personally. I really am," she said. Carole insisted she not do that, as Tinsley insisted she couldn't help it.
Dorinda Medley, meanwhile, was still not over her explosive fight with Luann and vented to Bethenny about it. Dorinda felt she had been there for Lu "through thick and thin" and thought Lu owed her an apology for saying she gets "aggressive" when she drinks. Reminder: Dorinda's responses to Lu at the time included, "An ex-Countess who doesn't have her Countess-ship anymore?" and "Why don't you drink some more wine and get arrested, honey? A felony."
"I've been the one that you've been depending on for three years," Dorinda told Bethenny. "Don't be my teacher now."
"After all that I've tried to speak to Luann about, she still doesn't get that her statement was incredibly loaded," Dorinda later said during her confessional. "And I'm willing to talk to her about it and say I'm sorry about what happened, but you need to say I'm sorry back. A handshake's only good if there's two hands involved."
Carole later vented to Dorinda about how Bethenny invited Dorinda and not her to see her monstrous new townhouse, which Carole said "speaks volumes" about where they are in their friendship.
At the end of the episode, Ramona hosted a party for the launch of her new anti-aging skincare line, where Sonja Morgan jostled for the spotlight. How, you ask? She showed up to the party with shoes from her own collection and decided to ride Ramona's promotional wave.
"This was supposed to be about me tonight!" Ramona shouted at Sonja. "This is was supposed to be about me. This is about Ramona skincare, not about Sonja's shoes."
Luann was living for the drama, telling Bravo cams, "It's so funny when Sonja whips out her shoes, and I'm like trying them on, and it's like, it took a little bit away from Ramona's party. But I love the shade!"
We're exhausted from all this pettiness, but next week looks like it's going to be juicy.
"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.