The "Night School" star also talks about her night at the Emmys, ambitious acting goals and tries to put an end to her $300 feud with Kevin Hart.
Tiffany Haddish is always unpredictable and full of surprises when she stops by any late-night talk show, and Stephen Colbert was lucky enough to have her Thursday night.
The "Night School" star made "The Late Show" host blush right off the bat, praising his beard and recommending him for the very real "Beard Gang" Facebook page. She even offered to send him some sweatpants as a gift ... for his wife.
"Sweatpants are man lingerie, basically," she explained to a dubious Colbert.
Later, when talking about how busy she is in her career, though, Haddish admitted that personal relationships are the one thing she finds it difficult to maintain. "But I have been keeping up with my weighted blanket and my toys that I get off of Groupon," she said with a sly smile. "And batteries. Batteries are a girl's best friend."
Colbert didn't want to even take that bait, but Haddish didn't need him to. She was more than happy to jump on that train and ride it all the way into the next station after his next seemingly innocent question. All he asked was what a weighted blanket is.
Innocent enough, right?
"A weighted blanket is a blanket that is filled with -- I think it's sand, I'm not sure what the material is. But it's like 25 pounds," she explained. "And then you spray a little cologne over it and you throw it over your arms and it feels like a man is holding you. And you snuggle up into it ... and then you open up your nightstand drawer, put your batteries in and..." She let the moment linger, before finishing her thought, "Go to sleep."
But it's more than just a nice-smelling blanket to snuggle into. "You don't have to make 'em breakfast or talk to the weighted blanket or nothing."
And so for now, she says she's content to be "waiting with my weighted blanket" for the right man to come along.
Haddish proved she was more than just a beard fan, she had some knowledge, too. After Colbert allowed him to touch her beard, she explained that he needed to condition it, maybe put some coconut oil into it before going to sleep.
Her conclusion, though, was, "I like this beard you got going on." If he follows through with her advice, maybe his wife will like it, too. Or maybe it's about pairing the bard with a nice pair of sweatpants.
And Haddish knows what she's talking about, because she not only plays a teacher in "Night School," she explained the secret to her success when she was a student.
"I always put my best foot forward, trying to make the teacher laugh first, then the rest of the students," she explained. "And that's how you get good grades.
Apparently, Haddish and Colbert just missed one another at the Emmys, though she said she did see his wife. " She was talking to some guy," she said with a mischevious smile before admitting it could have been Colbert, only she didn't recognize him with the beard.
For Haddish it was her first Emmys ceremony as well as her first Emmy win, for her hosting appearance on "Saturday Night Live." And while she loved rubbing elbows with TV's heavy hitters, she was most excited about meeting Henry Winkler.
"I remember watching him on 'Happy Days' sucking my thumb like I wish I could date the Fonz and then there he was," she said.
"I bet you could," Colbert shot back. "There's an age difference, but I bet he'd go for it." That would save her money from her battery budget.
Haddish has previously admitted to owning a huge debt to her "Night School" co-star Kevin Hart, who once lent her $300 earlier in her career. Apparently, her attempts to pay that back have escalated into an obnoxious and hilarious bit between the two where she pays him and he gives the money back.
On top of that ridiculous story -- and she considers the matter closed after her last move -- she shared her ambitious goal of starring in 50 movies by the time she's 50. "They're not all gonna be great movies, but they're all gonna be movies." Haddish is currently 38 years old and at the rate she's going, she'll have no problem meeting this goal.
Check out the full scoop on Haddish's plans, and how she finally paid Hart back for good (she hopes) in the video above.
"Night School" opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, September 28.