Late-Night Stars Boof Trump for Joking He'd Be 'A Mess' If He Drank and Bullying Female Reporters

Donald Trump joked he'd be "a mess" if he ever drank alcohol and late-night hosts had no problem believing him.

Much like TooFab, the comedians marveled over his press conference Monday, when he defended his Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, from that messy Senate hearing where the judge was questioned about his history of boozing, boofing and devil's triangling.

In between shouting over and insulting female reporters trying to ask questions about the Kavanaugh proceedings that have been derailed over sexual misconduct and assault allegations from decades ago, Trump went on one of his signature rambling rants. This time about his sobriety.

"I can honestly say I've never had a beer in my life. It's one of my only good traits. I don't drink," the president said. "I've never had alcohol for whatever reason. Can you imagine if I had? What a mess I'd be? I'd be the world's worst."

Oh, trust Mr. President, the world can easily imagine.

See how Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, James Corden, Seth Meyers and Trevor Noah all had a good laugh over one of Trump's latest media circus.

Corden laughed out loud at Trump's rhetorical question to the press about how messy of a drunk he'd be.

"Yeah. I think I can imagine a drunk Donald Trump," Corden said, "being inappropriate with women, getting into dumb arguments, firing off angry tweets. He's right, that would be a real mess."

But the CBS star has a hard time believing Trump has never been drunk. "You're telling me Trump was sober when he said this?" Corden asked his viewers before playing a clip of the president slurring his speech during a rally.

Also if "covfefe" isn't a drunk tweet, we don't know what is.

Kimmel got a good laugh watching Trump talking about drinking, too, and suggested at this point in his messy presidency, Trump may want to consider getting drunk to save it.

"I don't know. Maybe it'd be better. It's worth a shot," Kimmel said, and pointed out that Trump created his own brand of vodka, despite his sobriety.

The ABC star didn't just tear into Kavanaugh and President Trump, he of course found a way to ding his frenemy Matt Damon, too.

"Kavanaugh's testimony rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. In fact, he was so unlikeable, 'Saturday Night Live' had no choice but to cast the most repugnant actor in the world to play him over the weekend," Kimmel said. "What a surprise that Matt Damon would have no other plans on a Saturday."

Kimmel also played the clip of Trump insulting ABC reporter Cecilia Vega. "I know you're not thinking. You never do," the president said after he called on her to ask a question, and Kimmel was reminded of one of Trump's most famous claims during the 2016 presidential election.

"Nobody respects women more than Donald Trump," Kimmel said sarcastically before getting serious to add, "What a creep."

Colbert ended his monologue answering Trump's challenge to imagine him being drunk.

"No, I can't imagine you being any worse," the CBS star joked.

Before that, the comedian analyzed how Kavanaugh may have "boofed" his testimony to the Senate, but seemed to at least sympathize with his love of beer.

"First of all, drinking, who cares. A lot of people drink. I've been drinking more in the two years of the Trump administration than ever in my life," Colbert joked.

One thing is for sure, Colbert is pretty sure that all of these scandals unfolding weekly for the Republican party is going to lead to them getting "boofed" in the midterm elections. Watch the video above to see Colbert's entire audience chanting, "Boofed! Boofed! Boofed!"

By the way, boofed is slang for the act of butt chugging beer and now it is a term being used in our national political discourse. We've reached peak 2018!

The NBC star described President Trump's latest press conference as "surreal" at the start of his "Closer Look" segment Monday.

After playing the clips of Trump demeaning two female reporters, he commented, "How much of a sexist dick can you possibly be?"

Comparing Trump's behavior Monday to Kavanaugh's during the last Senate hearing, Meyers joked, "It's almost like he saw someone else getting attention for acting like a maniac on TV and thought, 'I can top that.'"

He also marveled at Trump's joke about being "a mess" and "the world's worst" if he drank alcohol.

"What's amazing about that joke is inherit in the premise is Trump admitting he already sucks," Meyers explained. "That joke doesn't work if everyone things Trump is a great president. He's basically saying, 'If you think I'm an asshole now, imagine if I had a few beers.'"

"I know Trump has never had a beer in his life, but he talks like the guy begging the bartender to give him back his keys," he added.

The Comedy Central star also had no problem believing Trump would be "the world's worst" if he got drunk.

"I never thought I'd say these words, but I totally agree with Donald Trump," he said. "Him plus alcohol? It's time for us to find another planet."

But Noah recognized there is another possibility: "I think that Trump is so crazy, that he's the one guy that'd become a better person when he's drunk."