Auntie Kourtney, surprisingly, played the game very well. All those years of playing games with Scott really paid off.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" opened with Kris, Auntie Khloe, Auntie Kendall and Auntie Kourt finding out the results of their 23andMe genetic and DNA test results. This is classic product placement in the television world. Think of it has an ad for Fashion Nova on Instagram, except for TV. On next week's episode, you'll see Penelope casually sipping Skinny Tea. Yeah, we really have no shame this season.
Kris volunteered the family to help raise money for the Watts Community Center. Of course, it would make more sense for everyone in the family to just cut a check, but because we are so desperate for content this season, we had to make it into a whole "thing." Since our family is known for our athletic ability -- or rather, our ability to date athletes -- we wanted to do a sporting event to raise the money. After playing around with a few ideas, we decided that the sporting event would be a softball tournament.
Later, Auntie Khloe and Scott were still pranking Kris with the Art Vandelay paintings. Kris had been trying to get her paintings appraised and insured, so Auntie Khloe and Scott felt like it was time to end the prank. I wanna know when Scott will end the prank that he's dating a toddler.
Mommy, Auntie Khloe, Auntie Kourtney called TJ Jackson, Michael Jackson's nephew, to invite the Jackson family to play them in the softball tournament. I was actually supposed to call Blue Ivy to ask if the Carters wanted to play us, but honestly, I forgot -- and she changed her number.
At softball practice, we learned that Mommy has never seen a baseball diamond before. She thought first base is where you hit from and had no idea where the pitcher stood. After practicing for five minutes, Kris fell and hurt her wrist. I think she faked an injury to try to get out of playing, or at least try to get out of booking me for my Vogue cover. Auntie Kourtney, however, played the game very well. All those years of playing games with Scott really paid off.
At the second softball practice, in a very predictable move, Kris sat out because of her "hurt" wrist. Caitlyn's kid, Auntie Kendall, was a complete disappointment. One would think that because one of her parents is an Olympic legend, she would be able to hit a softball, but no. Auntie Kenny models way better than she plays softball, and that's saying a lot.
At Nobu, Auntie Khloe, Scott and the fake Art Vandelay (who looks like a likable Jonathan) told Kris they've been scamming her because she art-shamed Auntie Khloe. Kris wasn't mad because it was such a great prank. It's incredibly easy to prank Kris. My favorite prank is to make plans with her and never show up. It's hilarious!
On the day of the softball tournament, my family's team still needed some extra help, so Kris recruited former professional baseball player Alex Rodriguez to coach us. The truth is, we could've had God himself coaching us, and there was no way we were going to win that game. On the bright side, there were no losers because, at the end of the day, it was all for charity. If you're wondering why I didn't play -- it's because I had a photo shoot, but I wrote a hefty check and asked if the community center could change its name to the North West Watts Community Center. I have yet to hear back from the director.
Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 11 of my show.
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