"For a long time, I was contemplating suicide," Hyland said. I had gone through 26 years of always being a burden of always having to be looked after, having to be cared for because I've always had health issues."
Sarah Hyland has revealed she underwent a second kidney transplant in 2017, her first was in 2012, and was so depressed she contemplated suicide.
The "Modern Family" star, 28, opened up to Self Magazine about her ongoing health battle. Hyland was born with kidney dysplasia -- a condition where the kidneys don't develop normally while in the womb -- but over the past two years she was also diagnosed with endometriosis and suffered from an abdominal hernia.
In October 2017, years after Hyland's first kidney transplant where she received the new organ from her father, her body began to reject the kidney. Despite everything they did to "save" the kidney, it still wasn't functioning properly. As a result, Hyland went on dialysis, which caused many physical side effects including weight loss.
"When a family member gives you a second chance at life, and it fails, it almost feels like it's your fault," she said. "It's not. But it does."
"I was very depressed," she added. "For a long time, I was contemplating suicide. I had gone through 26 years of always being a burden of always having to be looked after, having to be cared for because I've always had health issues."
However, the dialysis wasn't enough. The transplanted kidney had to be removed and she needed a new one. In Summer 2017, they found a match -- her younger brother, Ian.
"When a second family member, someone you're supposed to look after like a little brother, wants to give you a third chance at life," Hyland said through tears. "It's scary, because you don't want to fail them. I felt a lot of pressure to make sure that it was good."
The "Vampire Academy" star admitted she has had about 16 surgeries in her life, six of which have been in the past 16 months. Among these surgeries, she said she underwent a "painful" laparoscopy after being diagnosed with endometriosis and when the surgeons went to take out the old kidney, they found a hernia.
In the video interview (above), Hyland unveiled her scars and described in detail where the surgeons cut. Some of the scars, she admitted, have made her self-conscious.
"When they do a kidney transplant, they connect the new kidney to your old kidneys in front," she said, pointing to her pelvic area. "I call it my KUPA: kidney upper p---y area. Always have. Will forever. For me it's always hard for KUPA to be on display."
"Sometimes I have complete meltdowns in the middle of fittings," she said. "Being like, 'KUPA will show. I really want to wear this dress and you can't hide it.'"
What keeps Hyland going is "love." Love from her family, fans, dogs and her boyfriend, "Bachelorette" alum Wells Adams.
"My name is Sarah," she said. "I have two of the most amazing dogs in the entire world. I have the best boyfriend ever, who has the third-most amazing dog in the entire world. I have the greatest family one could ask for. I'm on a show that is absolutely unbelievable and surreal."
"Oh, and also, I was born wrong," she continued. "Physically. In a way that's not good for your body to keep going. Oh, and also, I have endometriosis. Oh, and also, I have kidney failure. Oh, and also, I'm a two-time kidney recipient. Oh, and also, I had a frickin' hernia for almost a year that went unnoticed."
"That list doesn't stop," she concluded. "But that list doesn't hold me back from anything. I won't let it."
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