The "Real Housewives of New Jersey" star calls out anyone "supporting a man who is abusive in every facet and continues to threaten the very core of my existence."
Now the reality star is speaking out about her tumultuous two-year relationship with Marty Caffrey even as she seems to be finding some joy in reliving their May wedding. Within four months, Staub was seeking a restraining order against him and Caffrey was filing for divorce.
"This was real to me," Staub wrote on Instagram Sunday night accompanying a picture of her with Caffrey on their wedding day. "You can all pass judgment, you can all say what you need to say and I'm certain the opinions will be strong."
She went on, urging her haters to "take a minute and realize I'm sharing my life with you: the ups and downs, the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly -- all the parts of me -- and it's an honor to do so!"
Who’s watching tonight? #Rhonj on @bravotv This was real to me If he was the one for me, we would still be together you can all pass judgment you can all say what you need to say and I’m certain the opinions will be strong but I urge you all to take a minute and realize I’m sharing my life with you the ups and downs The good the bad the pretty the ugly all the parts of me and it’s an honor to do so! I do realize I leave myself open for scrutiny but the things that my husband has done to my family and I weeks following our wedding breaking his vows he promised to protect keep me safe love me and honor me ...so take a moment to realize no one would know his name if it weren’t for me trusting him to want to be a part of my family and my life he used my platform abused my name, me, and by supporting him you are doing the same by supporting a man who is abusive in every facet and continues to threaten the very core of my existence so if you still feel good about your decision to stand with him on his rampage then that’s on you. I would like to take a more positive moment at this time to thank all of you who support me and my family! I look forward to your continued support in the next chapter of my life! #eyeswideopen More photos to come
Staub followed this initial post with several more from her wedding day, which is remarkable considering how quickly and ugly the marriage itself ended. But she was focusing on the sisterhood she enjoyed with her "bride squad" and the beautiful day spent with her daughters.
"Time heals," she captioned a pic of her with matron-of-honor Teresa Giudice, and it seems to mostly be the case. Many would find it difficult to relive such a difficult (in hindsight) chapter of their lives on television, much less continue the celebration by sharing more pictures from the wedding online.
That's not to say that all is good between her and Caffrey, though. "I do realize I leave myself open for scrutiny," Staub continued in that initial post. "But the things that my husband has done to my family and I weeks following our wedding, breaking his vows -- he promised to protect, keep me safe, love me and honor me -- so take a moment to realize no one would know his name if it weren't for me trusting him to want to be a part of my family and my life."
She went on to lash out at those supporting her estranged husband as their marriage unravels. "He used my platform, abused my name [and] me ... You are doing the same by supporting a man who is abusive in every facet and continues to threaten the very core of my existence, so if you still feel good about your decision to stand with him on his rampage then that's on you."
She tagged the post #EyesWideOpen and said that she was instead going to choose to focus on the positive people in her life, including those fans who continue to stand by her.
In court filings received by US Weekly, Staub has accused Caffrey of "acts of extreme cruelty" toward her, which included recording acts of intimacy without her knowledge, and emotional and verbal abuse toward her two daughters.
Caffrey has denied the allegations, saying, "This is simply Danielle Staub trying to take people out like she has in her past, but it’s not going to work this time." He filed for divorce in early September, shortly after the couple had each filed restraining orders against the other.
He recently denied one of Staub's more recent claims that he had secretly listed their house for sale, telling TMZ that she knew about it weeks before it happened, and blamed the decline of their relationship on her personality changing when "RHONJ" Season 9 started filming.
"She changed dramatically from what she was," he told TMZ. "She became that celebrity that in her mind ... was better than most people, certainly better than me."
Staub made similar allegations against Caffrey, telling Us Weekly Sunday night, "I thought that getting married might make it a little better. I thought he’d feel more secure. ... I kept waiting, like most women do and most men do, you wait for that person to turn back into the person you fell in love with."
Like Staub, Caffrey comes across as very cool and collected when talking publicly about their messy divorce, but it's clear that the two of them are still dealing with some very serious issues and some major communication problems.
Hopefully, they can get their lives separated with minimal additional chaos so they can both pursue that more positive and peaceful future they both seem to want.
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