All the Best Jokes from Golden Globes Hosts Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh
Getty
Every Must-See Red Carpet Look from the 2019 Golden Globe Awards

The actors subvert the traditional roast format by killing their targets with kindness and talking to Lady Gaga about those 99 people in the room that didn't believe in her.

The 2019 awards season kicked off with kindness when Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh took a different approach to the traditional monologue at the 2019 Golden Globe Awards.

Gone were the edgy jokes that leave celebrity audiences and viewers at home cringing and looking over their shoulders to see if anyone saw them laughing at that one. Samberg and Oh were hyper-aware of the cultural shift in this country when it comes to humor, though they played it off like they were just being absolutely savage.

And that's how they were able to get away with it, and turn compliments into comedy. With tongues planted firmly in their cheeks, the actors poked no fun at anyone ... except for poor Lady Gaga. But she took their gentle jibes in good spirits, even if she did shout back at them.

We'll update this post with the hosts' best breakout moments throughout the night, but for now, we've gathered the best moments so far that left the audience in stitches and "Black Panther" director Ryan Coogler looking on in confusion.

Inevitable Oscars Host Joke

"We are gonna have some fun, give out some awards and one lucky audience member will get to host the Oscars," the pair said in unison to kick off the night. The Academy Awards remain without a host, even as Ellen DeGeneres is controversially trying to convince Kevin Hart to reclaim the job after his failed attempts at apologizing for old homophobic tweets.

Honestly, we didn't see anyone there eager to jump into that fire. But at least Samberg and Oh were showing them a different way to kick off an awards show.

The Kindest Roast of All

The centerpiece of their joint monologue was a twist on the classic roast, where they subverted kindness into savage attacks. Redubbing themselves Sandra Oh Snap and Andy Slamsnerds no one was safe from their onslaught of love. Below are their sweetest (and sickest) burns:

  • AS: Oh well if it isn't Spike Lee, Mr. 'Do the Right Thing.' Yeah, well, I'll tell you who does the right thing, you as a director. Lifetime fan, bam thanks.

  • SO: Bradley Cooper. You are hot.

  • AS: Damn, this is live on television. No takebacks.

  • SO: That's weird, Gina Rodriguez is here.

  • AS: Why is that weird?

  • SO: Because last time I checked, she resided in Heaven.

  • SO: Oh, I got one. Michael B. Jordan.

  • AS: More like Michael B. Buff AF, You a snack, Michael.

  • SO: Your character's name in 'Creed' is Adonis and it is apt.

  • AS: Cut to him crying off that, I wanna get the meme.

  • SO: And we can't forget Amy Adams, nominated for multiple Globes tonight. Hey Amy, save some for the rest of us, you multi-talented piece of crap.

  • AS: Take your lumps.

  • AS: And then of course there's Jeff Bridges. Mr. Cecille B. DeMille Award himself. Hey Jeff, I wish you were my dad.

  • SO: And Bridges is canceled.

100 Lady Gaga Jokes

Perhaps the most inevitable joke of the night was said with the most love possible, and a perfect riff on Lady Gaga's talk show circuit in support of "A Star Is Born." A newcomer to promoting a film, Gaga perhaps relied a bit too much on the same story, and if you saw only one interview, you know the story.

After praising both Gaga and Cooper in the film, Oh said, "It just proves -- and I'm just coming up with this now -- that there can be 100 people in the room and 99 of them don't believe in you and you just need one to believe in you, and that was Bradley Cooper."

"Sandra, I couldn't agree with you more," Samberg echoed. "I was just thinking, totally off the cuff, there could be 100 people in the room and 99 of them don't believe in you and you just need one to believe in you and that, quite frankly, was Bradley Cooper."

Black Panther v Black Panther

Director Ryan Coogler looked like he wasn't quite sure where Samberg was going with this joke when he brought up the original Black Panther political movement, and quite frankly, neither was anyone else.

"If you told me as a kid growing up in the Bay, there'd be a movie called 'Black Panther' that starts off in Oakland, this is not what I would have imagined," Samberg said to a very quiet room. "Ryan, were there like a bunch of old members of the actual Black Panther party saying, 'I can't even get an audition?'

The camera cut to Coogler just as Samberg started to bring the joke home, twisting it from something that might have come across as tone-deaf and insensitive into a realization that much of the work the Black Panthers were trying to accomplish remains unfinished.

"Just kidding," Samberg concluded his thought with a rapid-fire delivery. "They were all framed and murdered for wanting justice and equality, the world is and always has been a nightmare, it just seems worse because of our phones."

Free Flu Shots

Samberg was right when he said about an hour into the show, "Normally at this point of the show the host would do something fun and spontaneous to show how we’re all just ordinary people."

But he and Oh weren't going to just deliver pizza to everyone or stage a selfie to try and break the internet. Instead, they had everyone's health and well-being to consider.

"We'd mix it up and try something new, so roll up your sleeves Hollywood because you're all getting flu shots!" the hosts shouted triumphantly. The audience didn't seem quite as enthused as the doctors trotted out, but it was pretty funny from home.

Jack Nick-Carell-son?

Sometimes there's an introduction that really sets the stage for the performer to come. One classic technique is to come up with clever phrase that drop hints about the career of a screen legend, big or small, but interspersing the names of projects they've been in throughout.

That's exactly what Oh and Samberg did for one presenter, but it seems like the research department may have let them down just a bit.

"Our next presenter is kind of a joker, but you would be too if you had to fly over the cuckoo's nest," Samberg said, as everyone started anticipating a certain Jack.

"But no matter what, he's as good as it gets," Oh said, and now everyone was certain. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Steve Carell."

Uh ... okay?

Quick Hits

  • "You know what race of people really gets under my skin? The Hollywood Half-Marathon because it really messes up traffic." --Samberg

  • "Claire Foy is nominated for her work in 'First Man.' 'First man' is also how studios look for a director. 'First. Man. If no man available, then pair of man. Then team of man. Then maybe woman.'" --Oh

  • "['The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel' is] the show that makes audiences sit up and go, 'Wait, is this anti-Semitic?'" --Samberg

  • "'Crazy Rich Asians' is nominated tonight for Best Picture - Musical or Comedy. It is the first studio film with an Asian-American lead since 'Ghost in the Shell' and 'Aloha.'" --Oh

  • "['Vice is] actually up for best musical or comedy because it erroneously invaded the wrong category based on false intelligence." --Samberg

  • "Now, here with a surprising, unrehearsed takedown of Leslie Moonves, the cast of ‘The Big Bang Theory.’" --Samberg

  • "That can't be right." --Oh

  • "Our next presenters are all stars on the hit NBC show 'This Is Us.'" --Samberg

  • "So break out the tissues because you're going to want to masturbate to all of them." --Oh (we love how flattered the cast was by this introduction)

  • It was definitely a quick hit, but we loved when Oh and Samberg presented the Globes' most inspiring moments and it was just clips of them winning their respective Globes.

This Moment Is Real

At the close of the monologue, the hosts took a moment to be serious, looking out at the groundbreaking diversity before them. This is the most diverse group of nominees in the history of the Golden Globes, and it was a moment Sandra Oh could not let pass unacknowledged.

"If I could take a moment here in all honesty," she said. "I said yes to the fear of being on this stage tonight because I wanted to be here to look out into this audience and witness this moment of change. I'm not fooling myself, next year could be different, it probably will be, but right now, this moment is real.

"Trust me, it is real. Because I see you," she said pointing to one person in the audience, and then another. "And I see you. All these faces of change. And now, so will everyone else."

Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at tips@toofab.com.

Getty Michael B. Jordan, Emma Stone & More Shine at W Magazine's Pre-Golden Globes Party

Advertisement