'Vanderpump Rules' SURver Scuffle: Lisa Calls Staff Meeting, Lala Confronts James, Stassi's Mom Has a Meltdown

Monday's "Vanderpump Rules" was packed with drama, and of course, James Kennedy was at the center of most of it.

A few episodes back, Lisa Vanderpump fired James from SUR because he got wasted at Pride and called Katie Maloney fat (for what feels like the hundredth time). He also embarrassed Brittany Cartwright by announcing fiancé Jax Taylor's past indiscretions -- over the loudspeaker -- and called Lala Kent some combination of "whore" and "bitch."

Despite all this, the group was divided. Overtly on Team James was James (of course), Tom Sandoval, Scheana Marie and Billie Lee. Overtly on Team Cancel James was Jax, Brittany, Katie, Lala and Kristen Doute.

To address all the hoopla and gossip surrounding the firing, Lisa called an all-staff meeting.

Manager Peter Madrigal explained to the group that James' Tuesday night DJing gig -- See You Next Tuesday -- brought in a ton of revenue for the restaurant.

"Dude, he's not big. He stands behind a podium," Jax interjected before hilariously venting to the camera, "I'm sure I can find someone else with an English accent and an iPod that can do the job without insulting my fiancée and calling Katie fat." (Dead.)

Lisa's partner echoed Peter's sentiments and tried to get the SURvers to see the situation "from a business point of view." That's when Brittany started to get emotional. She said it was "hurtful" that management would put business above the feelings of their staff.

"He's here two nights a week," Scheana fired back. "Don't work Tuesdays and Thursdays." While Brittany started going at it with Scheana, Jax loudly asked, "Can I ask how many times he's been fired?" (Not a tree Jax should be barking up.)

"Ugh, Jax," Sandoval chimed in with a hefty eye roll as Lisa put Jax on blast for essentially calling the kettle black. "You're lucky to be here as well, quite frankly," she said sternly. But before that scuffle could escalate, Billie decided she had something to say.

"One last thing about Kristen, actually," Billie said. (No one was talking about Kristen.) "Whenever James is DJing, she's a trigger. She walks in here, and she attacks James every single time."

Lala lost it: "So you're blaming James' issues on Kristen?! That does not give him the right to come in here and call her fat and call me a whore!"

"I'm just saying, as a business owner, I would not let Kristen in here," Billie shouted, to which Lala refuted, "As a business owner, you probably shouldn't employ James!"

"Kristen's bat-shit crazy," Billie said.

"We can go back and forth all day, homegirl!" Lala fired back.

"Bitch, you are not better than me!" Billie shouted.

At the end of the day, though, what Lisa says goes. She maintained she "didn't support" the way James spoke to Katie, and that was that.

Lala told Ariana Madix she felt compelled to reach out to James because her late father was always such a compassionate, forgiving person. The two met up for coffee, where Lala was stern yet loving and let him try to explain himself.

"At some point, James, we gotta go, 'We're getting too old for this. We can't be attacking people and their boyfriends and calling people fat and calling me a whore at f--kin Pride.' What's that about?!" Lala asked.

James said he didn't remember anything he did at Pride and that he had stopped drinking since then. Unfortunately, we've all heard this a million times before.

James maintained he was under a lot of pressure because he was helping his mom and brothers financially. He also said he missed his friendship with Lala.

In the end, James asked Lala for "some time" to be able to fix himself before trying to get into everyone else's good graces.

"Okay," Lala replied. "I'm here to support you in whatever way you need."

It was actually a very sweet moment.

Before we get into the good stuff, you should probably know that Stassi Schroeder's boyfriend, Beau, handled her drunken birthday meltdown like a champ. We love him.

But back to the drama. You know that saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Stassi and her mother, Dayna, invented it.

At Kristen's T-shirt relaunch party, Dayna cornered Beau about having babies. When Stassi saw the two conversing, she walked over to see what was going on.

"I don't want you to be yourself," Dayna explained to Stassi. "I'm hoping he's a strong enough guy to go the distance. I think that he balances you out. You're actually down here, and he's up here."

Turning her sights to Beau, Dayna said, "I just want you to know what your future holds, what you're in for. It's deep in her. It's not just the alcohol. Yes, the alcohol brings it out, but..."

Beau -- being the precious angel baby that he is -- did a great job of being respectful to Dayna while sticking up for his girlfriend, who was visibly hurt and uncomfortable. When Beau walked away, Stassi's mom gave her some questionable dating advice: "When you meet somebody and you start dating, you show them who you think they wanna see."

"I don't really know why my mom's giving me relationship advice," Stassi vented to the camera, "because in the 30 years that I've been alive, I haven't really seen a healthy relationship that she has had."

Later, the Wicked Witches of WeHo (Stassi, Katie and Kristen) and their moms went out for dinner -- just them six. On their way into the restaurant, Dayna clung to Kristen and told her repeatedly how much she loved her and wanted her daughter to be like her. Once inside, Dayna leaned in to sniff Stassi's neck? Or maybe kiss her cheek? Either way, Stassi was annoyed and embarrassed and told her mom to back off.

Then Kristen asked Dayna what she and Beau were talking about at her T-shirt relaunch, and it all went downhill from there. Dayna started crying because, as she whispered into Stassi's ear, her "ovaries are being absorbed by [her] body."

In Dayna language, that meant she was in the midst of menopause and therefore overly emotional. Stassi was mortified. Dayna eventually got up from the table and sobbed into Kristen's mom's arms. (Sound familiar?)

"I just need her to hold me and tell me that she loves me," Dayna blubbered.

"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

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