McHale finds himself having to chastise Nicole Scherzinger, Jenny McCarthy, Robin Thick and Ken Jeong for their terrible, terrible guesses.
"This is the weirdest show on television," guest panelist Joel McHale said upon joining our illustrious group of terrible guessers on "The Masked Singer." The real question was if he would do any better than them.
We at least appreciate that he stood up for basic logic and common sense by trashing one guess each from Nicole Scherzinger and Jenny McCarthy_, spending the rest of his time trashing his friend and former "Community" co-star Ken Jeong.
Oh and the panel was on absolute fire this week, making totally plausible guesses for the Lion, Deer, Peacock, Unicorn and Monster like Emily Blunt, George Foreman and everyone's favorite gymnast, Kayla Marooney! Nope, that's not a typo. That was the guess.
At this point, the show is every bit as entertaining for the depths of ineptitude on display each week from our "expert" panel. These guys and gals are up close and personal with these performers and yet any semblance of logical guessing continues to elude them.
On top of that, they are deluded into thinking that absolutely anyone would be willing to endure this week in and week out. We're sorry, as much as we love Tom Hanks, he's not going to do this show. Actually, bad example. He might. Mariah Carey, though? Not gonna happen.
At the same time, the show would probably lose its luster pretty quickly if all we got were well-educated and reasonable guesses. Isn't it more fun to speculate that maybe it's Shaquille O'Neal underneath that diminutive Monster costume. It makes no sense and he's two feet too short, but who cares! It's Shaq hunched waaaaaaaay over!
Once again, the weakest performer of the night got the boot, but we're going to make you power through the terrible (and occasionally good) guesses for everyone before we reveal who it is. We do this because we love ... to torture you.
This week, the original batch of contenders returned, meaning we got a second look at the Lion, who you might recall was from Hollywood royalty and in a pride with lots of women. This week she added that she has no gold or platinum (albums) yet.
She also said that the judges' comments put her on cloud nine and featured a lot of pictures of political activism, evoking the Women's March and other movements. But the best clue might be a newspaper headline that read, "Gold Found in Hailey."
Nicole, who sometimes skips even the low-hanging fruit to pick up some rotten piece from the ground guessed Hailey Baldwin and we were so proud she came up with someone named Hailey. But it's not going to be that obvious.
And no, it wasn't Kelly Rowland, Jenny McCarthy. Quit trying to make Destiny's Child happen on this show. Ain't no Beyonce here, no Kelly Rowland, no Michelle Williams. But you know, we're not going to be so quick to rule out the other three past members whose names you can't immediately recall.
The panel didn't disappoint, though, with the absolute worst guess of the bunch: Emily Blunt. Yes, we totally think she's faking an American accent and taking time away from all these awards shows for "Mary Poppins Returns" to put on a lion costume and sing for us. Who needs Oscar gold when you can have "The Masked Singer" gold?
It does add fuel to our new favorite guess, though, as there's a little town in Idaho named Hailey and it was in this little community that one Rumer Willis grew up, daughter of Hollywood royalty in Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. And you've seen her massive lion tattoo, right?
Honestly, we'd lock in this vote if we could, and it looks like America agrees with Rumer taking more than half of online votes this week on the show's **official website.
Oh dear, this one became even more obvious than it seemed last time when all the clues pointed to him being a football player. This week he added that he started in track and field and has since transitioned into horses.
Joel couldn't resist laying into Nicole a bit when she threw out George Foreman -- still hung up on the taping of the hands from last week. "George Foreman probably weighs 200 more pounds," Joel said for all of us. "George Foreman's huge."
The judges on The Masked Singer Be Trippin. The deer said "I know how to throw". And they respond with "He could be a Wrestler, or maybe it's George Forman" WTF 🙈🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️ pic.twitter.com/15ye6qS3eX— Lightskin Tay (@Tay_BallOutt) January 17, 2019
The added clues tonight sealed our pick at Terry Bradshaw. The NFL legend once set a world record in javelin and now breeds quarter horses with his daughter. He was already a contender for this one, but now there's virtually no other possibilities.
Unless you're Jenny McCarthy, because then you're still trying to make the Deer into "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the hulking wrestler who might be about the right height, but is easily twice as wide as the much older Bradshaw. Robin gets half the blame for this as he put the name in her ear two weeks ago and it was a terrible guess then, too.
"Why don't we just ask him who he is?" Joel wondered. "That would be so much faster." Yes it would, Joel. Yes it would.
The Peacock let us know that he's performed in Vegas, and that he's had different facets to his career from being a teenybopper to taking on dramatic roles. Add this to previous clues like being your mom's heartthrob, performing since he was five and having been part of a magic act, and we're still solid on our guess.
But how about the panel? It can't be worse than Jenny thinking it was Hugh Jackman last time, right? She didn't even venture a specific guest, but Nicole was totally ready to call it for the Knight Rider himself, David Hasselhoff, but that dude is 6'4" and Peacock isn't towering over Nick Cannon at 6'0".
Joel chimed in with Neil Patrick Harris and Kevin Costner, and we can't tell if he was joking or took a sip from Nicole's cup. There must be something in the water on that dais to explain some of these guesses.
Yes, he said he was part of a magic act at one point, but that doesn't mean it's Criss Angel or David Copperfield, people. You see, there are other clues that all but eliminate them, like him being a teenybopper and a heartthrob your moms loved. You can't just latch onto one clue and ignore the rest!
Nope, nope and nope. We're sticking with Donny Osmond, as every clue still fits his career and his stage presence and swagger are spot on. And America is feeling super-confident with him as well, as he is absolutely dominating the online vote at 70 percent.
The Unicorn is a little tougher of a nut to crack, and the panel certainly isn't helping us out at all. This week, she mentioned she had lost her sheen, and of course that got the panel playing word association.
Sheen. Charlie Sheen. Lost. Denise Richards! And boom, they had a new guess. The same thing happened when the Unicorn said she was going for the gold. They got so locked on her being a gymnast from that one line they even wasted their question by asking if she was.
"In the bedroom," she joked, which we think is Unicorn-speak for "Stop making stupid guesses."
She also said she exuded model behavior, so out came the model theory. These guys really do play it right on the nose. She said she felt victorious, too. Doesn't that mean she's Victoria Beckham? Come on, don't make us do your job for you!
Okay, we'll just do our jobs and say that "victorious" makes us think of "vicTORIous," Tori Spelling's book, which keeps us in the Tori Spelling business for this one. She definitely grew up in "one of the richest neighborhoods" and has dealt with being told she wasn't worthy of her career because she was the daughter of mega-producer Aaron Spelling.
But as much as we love dumping on the panel, Denise Richards isn't the worst guess either, as the Unicorn is seen holding three tiny stuffed unicorns at one point, and Denise has three kids. Tori has five. She also worked as a model. Okay, so we're still not settled on this one, and neither is the internet with both women neck-and-neck on the show's site.
T-Pain seemed to debunk everyone's theory that he was the man behind the Monster by tweeting, "What in God's name is everybody tweeting me about?!?!" after the premiere. Plus, if he could sing this good, why would he have ever done autotune?
But maybe that's the point, as he said a lot of people don't see him as a professional singer. It's a compelling argument,
Another front-runner emerged this week, though, as Joel McHale threw out Jamie Foxx' name, and it's as good a guess as any. He's very light on his feet, and this Monster was dancing all over the place.
On top of that, he said that not everyone thinks of him as a professional singer, but he's definitely got pipes as he proved when he took on Ray Charles for his biopic. Plus, he's had some hit music out there, but is primarily known as an actor.
This week's new clues were that he came up from the south to get "back in the swing of things" and that he likes to keep his head in the game. That put the panel right into baseball and so Robin threw out Derek Jeter because we saw a skyline shot of New York. We also saw a desert, so maybe it's Wile E. Coyote!
They seemed to latch onto the "south" part of it as well, and then proved their proficiency in geography by declaring Nelly their next choice. You know, the guy from St. Louis, smack-dab in the middle of the country. Plus, did you forget all those other clues? Of course you did.
We're not going to say we're any better, because we definitely do not have the Monster on lock just yet. We're still feeling okay about CeeLo Green, as we're not totally confident Jamie Foxx would do this show. But at the same time, we think he totally would just because it's ridiculous.
Plus, he's gotten into some trouble over the years, including recent allegations that he slapped a woman in the face with his penis more than 15 years ago (find a way to make that a clue, Fox!). Foxx has denied those allegations.
Jamie is from Dallas, CeeLo is from Atlanta, so we're still feeling both of these guesses. And yes, T-Pain is from Florida, so he's still in play. Maybe he's playing all of us!
By a margin of two percent, the deer fell just short in the final vote, and proved to match the clues perfectly, so we still don't know who the Monster or Unicorn are. And the internet cannot figure out how the Unicorn has now survived two elimination votes. Girl cannot sing.
A very sweaty and somewhat relieved to be voted off Terry Bradshaw emerged, shoulders shaking as he laughed and lamented that the panel said he clearly was not a professional singer and he's released six albums.
We give these judges a lot of well-earned grief, but props to Robin for picking up on this final clue with the shoulders at the elimination. It's just too bad Jenny and Ken refused to acknowledge it and went with Peyton Manning and John Elway, respectively.
"The Masked Singer" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Fox.
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