"I was just making the wrong decisions, and I was very depressed," the 33-year-old reality star says.
Ronnie Ortiz-Magro just left rehab, and he's ready to tell the world about his struggles.
The "Jersey Shore" star left HeadWaters Origins Treatment Center in West Palm Beach, Florida, on Friday after a month-long stay to tackle alcohol abuse and depression.
"I decided to go to treatment because I wanted to be a better person, a better father for my daughter," the 33-year-old reality star told Us Weekly. "Eventually, all the bad decisions I was making were going to lead me to places that I didn't want to be. I wanted to be led to the place that I am now -- that's happy, healthy and the best role model for my daughter."
Ronnie said he was "very depressed," "very angry" and "resentful" when he first entered treatment in mid-January, adding that he felt his life was no longer within his control.
"I think it's a chronic disease. It's a progressive disease. I'm still struggling," he said. "I'm gonna struggle for the rest of my life. It's a monkey that's on your back, and it's never gonna get off. It pops its head in, it eats the banana in front of you, it's just like, 'Alright, what do you wanna do today?'"
"It's definitely something that's progressed," he added. "I would drink, and then I wouldn't drink. I would work out and get healthy while we were filming or traveling, and then all of a sudden, you start up again, and it's worse than when you stopped. And then you stop, and you start up again, and it's worse than when you stopped. And you're just like, 'Wow, I thought I had this under control,' but at the end of the day, it has full control over you."
Ronnie shares 10-month-old daughter Ariana Sky Magro with on-again, off-again girlfriend Jen Harley. Although Ronnie didn't mention Jen in his interview, their tumultuous relationship has been a major talking point of the MTV revival, "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation." During Seasons 1 and 2, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino -- who's now over two years sober -- made various references to Ronnie possibly needing help.
"I was just making the wrong decisions, and I was very depressed," Ronnie explained. "And when I was depressed, I would turn to drinking. And then when I would drink, bad things would just continue to happen because I wasn't reacting the way I should."
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