"I got 13 stitches -- but here's the thing, I didn't need any anesthesia!" the pop star proudly announces.
And we are all better for it.
During Ellen's "Burning Questions," the pop star and mother of two was asked a series of burning questions, ranging from "What is something you do that embarrasses your kids?" to "What is the craziest rumor you've heard about yourself?" Every answer P!nk gave had us and Ellen in stitches, but it was her answer to one question in particular that left us all feeling something in between shock and pride.
"What's the dumbest way you've hurt yourself?" the comedian asked her guest, who barely even needed a second to respond, "Slashing tires."
Confused, Ellen asked P!nk how old she was when this happened.
"It wasn't that long ago," P!nk replied laughing.
"Whose tires were you..." Ellen tried to ask before the singer cut her off. "Carey's," she replied matter-of-factly.
"It was Thanksgiving!" P!nk added, as if that would help Ellen better understand the scenario. "Holidays are stressful!"
Ellen lost it. "How many tires did you slash?!" she asked.
Proudly, P!nk replied, "I got clean through the first one. He has a raised [Ford] F-250, and those tires are very thick, thank you very much."
"And the second one, I lost a little steam," she added. "And I hit the metal part, and my hand just went straight down the knife. I got 13 stitches -- but here's the thing, I didn't need any anesthesia! I couldn't feel a thing."
The rest of the segment was just as funny. If you don't want to watch all 3 minutes and 43 seconds of it above (although we highly recommend you do), we've transcribed it for you below.
What is something you do that embarrasses your kids?
"Wake up in the morning," P!nk said. "It's true. Everything I do. Everything I do. [Willow] said today, 'Are you wearing that?' And then she said, 'Mom, your hair's like one, big bang.' Thanks, honey."
Who was your first celebrity crush?
"Brooke Shields," P!nk said without hesitation.
What's the craziest rumor you've heard about yourself?
"Oh, that's easy," the pop star said with a smile. "I was on tour in Germany, and I read on my website blog that I was in a gay bar in Louisiana, oil wrestling, and that I lost. I was fine with the rumor until it said I lost. I would not have lost."
What's your perfect date night?
"Where it's not my idea," P!nk said. When Ellen asked if Carey comes up with good ideas, the singer replied, "Nope."
My spouse gives the best...
P!nk smiled and nodded her head no, knowing full well what Ellen was trying to do to her.
"My parents are here," she told the comedian, later adding, "He checks my oil. He's really good at checking my oil."
If you can't sleep in the middle of the night, what do you do?
"I knit," P!nk told the comedian, adding, "I'm a really good knitter."
When Ellen asked P!nk to knit her something, P!nk asked, "Would you like a hat, a scarf or a blanket?" Ellen simply said yes.
If you weren't a singer, what would you be?
"I would probably be a social worker," the singer said.
"You'd be a good social worker," Ellen told her guest. "You care deeply about people."
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