Monday's "Vanderpump Rules" picked up with the girls still in Solvang (not So Vein, Jax Taylor), drinking wine and bonding. Kristen drank far more than anyone else did, so it wasn't long before she was absolutely plastered. She was slurring her words, tripping over tables, eating wild plants, you name it. As Stassi put it, her behavior was "unsettling," even for Krazy Kristen.
For some reason, Kristen kept bringing up James Kennedy. She went ballistic when she found out Lisa Vanderpump had hired him to work an event at Pump. She also wasn't thrilled he was invited to spend boys night with Carter and the rest of the guys. But still, it didn't seem like he was the real reason she was so upset.
By the end of the night, Kristen could barely speak words, and the girls were getting fed up. Katie Maloney begged her to sit still, but she kept getting up and stumbling her way in and out of the hotel lobby.
Finally, Kristen snapped. "No!" she shouted at Katie. "Carter f--king texted me from boys night, telling me what they're doing! So stop interrupting me!"
"You're a f--king mess!" Katie fired back after Kristen fell over a table. "Go to bed!"
From the floor, Kristen shouted back, "Carter's f--king texting me about boys night. Carter is texting me about boys night! He's telling me what I'm supposed to do."
Eventually, Kristen left, and the girls were at a loss. Katie called her hubby Tom Schwartz, who was with Carter, to see if she could get to the bottom of what was going on. Tom even put Carter on the phone, but he wouldn't talk. All he said was that he would "take care of it."
When Stassi and Brittany Cartwright -- who had been FaceTiming their boyfriends -- walked back into the room, the girls filled them in on what had just gone down. "I just think Carter's not good for her," Katie said matter-of-factly.
"No shit, Carter's not good for her!" Stassi blurted out. "They're miserable! She says this every day. This is not about her having anxiety about traveling. He does not give a f--k. He doesn't pay for anything, he doesn't pay rent, he doesn't do anything. He literally does nothing! Nothing."
"The beans have been spilled," Ariana Madix said before Stassi began to panic.
"Oh, my God. This was not my place," she said repeatedly. "That was not my place! That was not my f--king place place. That was not my place. I feel so weird right now."
"It's fine. Just go with it," Ariana assured her. Lala Kent added, "That was gonna come out at some point." Brittany said, "She talks about it with me, too. I know it, too."
"Everybody knows it!" Stassi shouted back. "Everyone knows it, but no one says it. This is what she's so upset about. Because you know what? It would be one thing if she was paying for everything, and he was nice to her. If he wanted to go to f--king therapy when she asked him to go to couples therapy then that would be different, but he doesn't wanna do any of it."
"It's not that Carter's a bad guy..." Katie began to say before Stassi interrupted. "Somebody who refuses to pay rent and pay bills and pay for anything actually kind of is a bad guy," she said sternly.
Stassi continued to vent in the privacy of her confessional, telling Bravo cams, "Kristen's anger is misdirected. She doesn't give a f--k about James. He's just a convenient excuse to mask her issues with Carter, which she needs to face."
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.