During Monday's new hour, Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz decided they should take a group vacay to Mexico before opening TomTom and becoming full-time respectable business owners. The Toms made the bold decision to invite group antagonizer James Kennedy before discussing it with their significant others. Not the move, boys.
Katie Maloney was livid and told her husband he'd better uninvite the man who called her fat multiple times, most recently during Pride. Even though cameras captured Schwartz partaking in the inviting of James, he told Katie it was Sandoval who invited him, and therefore Sandoval's job to tell him he couldn't come.
That pissed off Ariana Madix because she feels Schwartz always skates by while her boyfriend's made to "look like an asshole." The four of them ended up getting into a vicious word brawl in the back alley of SUR, because of course they did.
"My feelings are out there, and until I say they have changed, that's what it is," a boozed-up Katie said, which Sandoval met with, "Katie, we always know your feelings. Trust me."
Katie began to explain how many "allowances" she's given James, but Sando wasn't having it. "We've given you so many allowances, Katie!" he said. "You already got him fired from his job."
"I DIDN'T GET HIM FIRED! HE GOT HIMSELF FIRED!" Katie shouted. (After Pride, Katie met with Lisa Vanderpump and said she was ready to walk away from SUR if Lisa didn't terminate James for harassment.)
"He didn't get himself fired!" Sandoval hurled back. "He would still have his job if you hadn't gone and said that!"
"You're drunk and spiteful!" Sandoval yelled back.
"You're a f--king asshole!" Katie replied.
Schwartz tried to break up the screamfest, but it was too late. Sando was revved all the way up.
"Hey, guess what? I can say whatever the f--k I want to anybody -- call them a whore, call them a piece of shit, say their dick don't work -- but if somebody calls me fat, I'm getting their ass f--king fired!" Sandoval sarcastically shouted as he slammed his glass down. (All of those things, by the way, Katie has said and done.)
"Stop it!" she kept yelling, tears streaming down her face. "When someone hurts someone like that, you have no idea. I'm tired of people attacking my body. I'm tired! I've been dealing with that for years."
"It was one second! F--king Jesus!" Sandoval replied. "Everybody says f--ked up things to each other here. Everybody has. Guess what? James is the only one who gets fired for it."
Schwartz dragged his drunk wife away while she shouted, "I'm sorry for just putting my foot down and saying, 'No more of this shit!' You look like a f--king idiot, is what you look like."
Calmly, Sandoval replied, "I don't. You're a bully. You're a bully, Katie."
The next day, when everyone had calmed down, Sandoval met up with Schwartz to let him know he had thought long and hard about everything. He said Katie was his partner's wife, and his partner's wife's feelings trump those of James. The Toms decided to let James know together that he could not attend their Mexico trip.
What the guys didn't know was that they'd be letting James know at TomTom while they were busy getting things ready with Lisa. James walked in to ask LVP and the Toms if he could DJ their grand opening.
Lisa said no because of "the politics involved." A disappointed James then asked if he was even invited to attend. As Schwartz began to answer, James said, "Is that up to the girls? It's not even their place."
"I know we were possibly talking about doing like a trip or something like that," Sandoval added, "and we had said, 'Oh, it shouldn't be that big of a deal,' but..."
"I brought it up with Katie and the girls, and they're not comfortable with it," Schwartz blurted out.
James saw red. "This is f--king bullshit," he said. "You guys are f--king assholes. Seriously."
Sando tried to tell James it was "not that big a deal," but that only further fueled his fire. "Don't f--king tell me it's not a big deal to me," James fired back. "It's not a big deal to you. Look at you, Tom! You're doing great. You're in your bar, you're going on a nice vacation. Yeah, it's all lovely, isn't it?"
Lisa urged James to calm down, but he did quite the opposite.
"You're a f--king p---y, bro!" he hurled at Schwartz. "You don't even stick up for me. And f--k your wife, bro! It's a bollocks that she has to direct my entire summer."
James' confessional cut even deeper. "Katie is a f--king bitch," he vented. "She can't be happy in her goddamn life unless she's hating on somebody, and normally it's her f--king stupid weasel husband, Schwartz. They can both go f--k themselves. F--k you, fatty. And f--k you, weasel."
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.